Get a Job: Where NFL Stars Should Work During a Lockout

With a lockout looming for the 2011 NFL season, many NFL players may be searching the want ads for new jobs during their extended time off.

Brandon Marshall has already stated that he plans to join the NBA and play for either the Nuggets or Heat.  A bold prediction, but at least he's planning ahead.

This got me thinking, what career fields would be appropriate for other NFL stars?  Who would hire people like Albert Haynesworth, Brett Favre or Jared Allen?

Read on to find out!

Magician: Josh Cribbs

Now you see him, now you don't.

Just like that, he's gone in a golden flash past defenders on his way to the end zone, leaving only a trail of smoke behind.  Cribbs is the best in the NFL in creating something out of nothing, the mark of any true magician.

Destined to get his own show on the Vegas strip, Cribbs will soon join the ranks of Penn & Teller with his spectacular acts of agility and deceptiveness.

Crowds will laugh, cry and marvel in awe as it all culminates into his final trick, making all previous return records disappear.

Drill Sergeant: Peyton Manning

Just look at the fear in that man's eye.

This is a role Manning would easily embrace.  He is a tremendous leader, and has no problems giving orders on the battlefield.  He gets the best out of his men, turning previously unknown players Pierre Garcon and Austin Collie into near household names. 

Peyton may come off as a goofball at times, but his SNL skits show he's not afraid to crack the whip, even with children.

Not following an order?  Drop and give him 12.......wins every year, that is.

Bellhop: Dez Bryant

With the ring of a bell and a hop in his step here comes Dez Bryant to assist you with all of your traveling needs.

He'll gladly carry those heavy bags for you, show you to your room and leave you with a smile - no tip necessary!

After all, he's just happy to have such a great job and he's truly humbled by the good luck he's enjoyed to make it this far.  Competition to be a starting bellhop?  No worries for the happy-go-lucky Bryant.  He's just happy to be part of the team.

Just please, no personal questions about his mom.

Hair Stylist: Jared Allen

No editing needed here.

Only a real man can grow a mullet, and be proud of it.

Allen would quickly be scooped up by a Minnesota Hair Salon, offering hair care tips and grooming techniques.  He could even feature classes such as "Mullet Maintenance" and "How to Pick Hot Wings out of Your Beard."

And by being 6'6'' and the best defensive end in the league, no one would dare argue.

Fitness Leader: Albert Haynesworth

Big Al is the definition of fitness.

Whether he's practicing with the third team to serve as an inspirational figure, or working on sprints instead of going through some silly practice, Haynesworth is a true leader on the Redskins.

With many local gyms looking for someone fresh who can come in and lead some exercise classes, they need only look to big #92.  His work ethic and passion for what he does is unmatched by any other mere mortal.

Treat your body like a temple?  Al treats his like the Taj Mahal. 

Provided that the Taj Mahal had an all you can eat creme puff buffet.

Wal Mart Greeter: Brett Favre

With a friendly "How ya'll doin today?" greeting and a smile that reaches from side to side of the Mississippi, #4 would be a natural at his new position.

While the retailers greeting openings are usually reserved for the elderly, Brett still brings the energy of a 25-year-old who just bought a brand new John Deere.

He'll not only toss kind salutations your way when you enter, but also work out with your entire high school football team in the parking lot after his shift ends.

Just don't ask him to help you decide between the purple or green bedsheets.

Fast Food Worker: Jamarcus Russell

Ok, so maybe Russell isn't exactly a "star" but he can sure make those floors shine.

J-Russ is now free to enjoy the bounty of nature, and of McDonald's, without some pesky "trainer" or "coach" grumbling about his weight.

Finally,he can now frolic in a world where he's free to do what he wants.

Unfortunately as he'll find out, those "free" fries he's been sneaking aren't exactly fat free.

Restroom Attendant: Ben Roethlisberger

Due to his four-game suspension this season, Big Ben could actually get a head start on next years career field.

Need a fresh towel, mouth wash or perhaps some hand lotion?  Ben's Bathroom has it all, including a very courteous gentleman host.

We all know Ben knows his way around a restroom, so his expertise would be desperately needed in many of Pittsburgh's fine night clubs.

Just make sure he stays in the mens room.

Others??

If you feel I've forgotten anyone please post your own ideas below!

Special thanks to Scott Helton for his photo shop help.

Thanks for reading!