South Carolina FB: Steve Spurrier to Coach LSU

With Les Miles on his way to Michigan, former South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier has agreed to take the top spot at LSU.

Spurrier, who resigned as Gamecocks head coach this week, had this to say:

"I've enjoyed my time at USC, but (Lee) Corso was right—you just can't win here. 

"I think it's in my best interests, and the best interests of my family, to go somewhere where I can become just another coach to win a championship. LSU is that somewhere."

South Carolina AD Eric Hyman said he understood the decision.

"Steve had to do what was best for him," Hyman told the press. "We have started the search process for his replacement."

When asked about candidates, Hyman offered this:

"So far we're considering Charlie Strong (current UF defensive coordinator), Skip Holtz (current East Carolina head coach), and George Rogers (former South Carolina RB and Heisman Trophy winner). But our main target is Lou Holtz."

Southern Cal coach Pete Carroll has reportedly expressed interest in the job.

"I think it would be interesting turning the real USC into a champion," Carroll said.

In other news, Gamecock Club membership has seen a sudden decrease in season ticket renewals for the 2008 football season. No cause is clear at the moment.

**The information presented here is absolutely false and is to be seen as humor.  This article was written in response to absurd reports of Coach Spurrier considering the LSU job if Coach Miles were to leave.**