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How Frustrating Have Things Been?

Michael Turner
Jul 6, 2010
My Poor Cap

A frustrating season leads to abuse of Licensed Apparel

This season of Cardinals baseball has cost me fingernails, hairline, and lots of beer-money. But most of the burden has been borne by my cap.

Every time Brendan Ryan has air-mailed a โ€œDan Quisenberryโ€ ย to 1st, Iโ€™ve thrown the hat.

Every time Colby Rasmus has loafed, Iโ€™ve tossed it to the floor.

Every time Matt Holiday or Albert Pujols has popped up or weakly grounded out with RISP, Iโ€™ve bit the bill.

And every time Tony LaRussa has yanked a starter whoโ€™s in command but in a jam to bring in โ€œI eat atโ€ Dennys Reyes, Iโ€™ve sweated through it. This later situation usually leads to violent stomping on my cap.

Needless to say, my trusty cap is looking more towards the All-Star break than I am looking forward to my next Budweiser. But there is hope for my much-abused companion. ย Tyler Greene has his shot to eliminate the tossing. ย Colby will continue to mature and keep my hat on my head. ย Timely hitting will become a second half hallmark of the Redbirds, and my teeth will only be used on Toasted Ravioli. ย Alas, there is no hope for the sweating & stomping, as TLR will continue to โ€œeat at Dennysโ€.

I have made a solemn promise to my chummy chapeau, though. ย When the Cards finally leave the Reds and the rest of the NL Central full of despair for the playoffs, I will buy one of these snazzy numbers to abuse:

I implore the team โ€“ from Skip Schumaker down to Nick Stavinoha โ€“ to do the right thing. ย Win one for the hat!