Memo To Chad Henne: Do Shut Up! (Humor)

Interoffice Memo:

From: The NFL Speculator

To: Chad Henne

Regarding: Your Constant Chatter to the Media

I mean, who do you think you are, Joey Porter?

Are you trying to confuse me into thinking you are Brett Favre? Now this guy is an HOFer and has been around for a zillion years. You, Sir, have been around two years and have never started the first game in an NFL Season.

You have more interceptions than touchdown passes.

You blew a 24-7 lead against the lowly Bills, for God's sake!

Do you actually think YOU deserve to be a media darling?

I guess you do think you are a media darling. Or, are you just acting as if you expect to be the Dolphins first franchise Qb since Dan Marino?

Well, then, Chad boy, you had better play that way in 2010. Why?

Because for a guy with your ego, you sure as heck don't want the whiniest fans in the NFL down your neck!

I mean, look what they've done to poor Teddy Ginn. Through no fault of his own, that idiot Randy Mueller and his doofy sidekick Cam Cameron draft him with pick number 9 in the 2007 draft, along with "his family." Expecting Teddy to become the next Lance Alworth when he could barely run routes at Ohio State has completely destroyed whatever confidence he might have had and now he is considered a bust.

(Never mind that he has done what only Dan Marino has done previously--singlehandedly beaten the Jets. And don't you know that when Teddy scored that go-ahead TD on that Oct. 12 Monday Nighter, Teddy beat the GREAT DARELL REVIS?)

Speaking of Poor Teddy, you really drove the nail in his coffin by WHINING! Who do you think you are, a Dolphins fan? WHINING for Brandon Marshall! WHINING for Terrell Owens!! Are you kidding me, Chad Boy?

And then you go chattering that you want an offensive line full of bad boys. Kiddo, you are no Chad Pennington, let alone Tim Tebow!

Meaning, are you a Parcells Guy?

And speaking of Tebow..."Tebow sucks, he really really sucks! Tebow sucks, he really really sucks!" Oh, really, Chad Boy?

They might be saying that about you, soon!

And, if the Fins do can your butt, you just might be good enough to star in a remake of Adam Sandler's "The Waterboy"!