Say It Ain't So Derrick, Say It Ain't So

Normally I look forward to the monthly web chats with Arizona Diamondbacks President and CEO Derrick Hall. He takes time out of his busy schedule to spend 30 minutes on the Diamondbacks website, answering questions from the fans.

The questions run the gamut from people complaining about the team changing colors three years ago to questioning every roster move that the team has made. Derrick takes each question and gives a sincere answer as best he can.

There are times where I want to pull the keys off my keyboard at some of the questions, but he seems to take them in stride. I am way too passionate to be able to reply calmly like he does.

Usually, there are a few questions that are well thought out and cause me to pay close attention as Hall provides an answer that gives the fans a look into what we might see at Chase Field with the team or the stadium.

Today was no exception. A loyal fan asked whether the Diamondbacks would be changing any of the concessionaires for the upcoming season.

You wouldn’t think that would be a big deal but given the past track record; I learned to pay close attention when the subject of concessions comes up.

My daughter, Whitney, has been going to the games with me since she was five years old. Every time we went, she would always ask for the same thing to eat at the ballpark. She wanted a Blimpie Turkey Sandwich.

Her answer was as consistent as sunshine in Arizona. She never deviated from her request, no matter how many Blimpie Turkey Sandwiches she ate. During the 2008 season, the Diamondbacks ended their relationship with Blimpie at the ballpark.

You would have thought the world was coming to an end the way Whitney spoke about the loss of her favorite eating establishment in the ballpark. She begged and pleaded with me to talk to Derrick Hall and ask him to bring back Blimpie.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I had absolutely no pull with the team. I mean I’m just a guy from Section 112. Clearly, Whitney had not been paying attention at home, otherwise she would have known just how little influence I wield.

After all, I’m usually the one sleeping on the couch because I just assumed it would be okay for me to bring home more Diamondbacks gear from the team shop. So the thought that I could change the mind of the Diamondbacks was clearly out of reach.

Like always, Derrick was polite and listened to my idiotic concerns and told me to tell Whitney that while they could not bring back Blimpie, they were working to replace them with Subway.

That news still did not sit well as Whitney explained the culinary differences between Blimpie and Subway. Since that time, Whitney has boycotted Subway at the ballpark instead making chicken tenders and fries her new ballpark staple.

Over the past season and a half, my family has become huge fans of another vendor at the ballpark. Garcia's and their Poco Chimis and mini-tacos get rave reviews. Trina is an especially huge fan of Garcia's and recommends it to everyone going to the game.

So when Derrick Hall announced during his chat today that Garcia's was being replaced at the ballpark with Macayo’s I felt a huge lump rise in my throat.

It was one thing disappointing a little girl. I can deal with the tears and getting her some art supplies to ease her pain.

But telling my wife her favorite ballpark restaurant is no longer going to be there? This is not good. My wife is not a large woman. Although she is five foot nine inches, she weighs just a little over 100 pounds.

That being said, I once took a karate class with her and watched as she dropped a guy that weighed 240 pounds and come within an inch of pushing his nose into his brain.

While I may wear the pants in our family, I know for a fact she could shred me like the taco meat on her favorite Garcia's dish.

I don’t mind telling you I am scared. I have absolutely no idea how to break the news to her without having her beating me to a Sedona Red pulp.

With this news today, I figure it will cost me double on Valentine's Day in flowers and jewelry just to get her in a good enough mood not to freak out and beat me with the base I got from Chase Field last season.

Sometimes, being a Diamondbacks fan can be hazardous to my health.