Shawn Chacon Is A Criminal

Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon was placed on waivers last week one day after he assaulted his former General Manager, Ed Wade, in the team’s dining room. According to accounts of the incident, Wade approached Chacon (2-3, 5.04 ERA), 30, and insisted that the right-hander go to Manager Cecil Cooper’s office for an internal discussion with his skipper.

“I sat down to eat, and Ed Wade came to me and very sternly said, ‘You need to come with me to the office.’ I said, ‘For what? I don’t want to go to the office with you and Cooper.’ And I said, ‘You can tell me whatever you’ve got to tell me right here.’ He’s like, ‘Oh, you want me to tell you right here?’ And I said, ‘Yeah.’ I’m not yelling. I’m calm,” Chacon recounted.

After Chacon defied Wade’s request, dialogue quickly deteriorated between the two and took an ugly turn in the direction of violence.

“He started yelling and cussing,” Chacon said of Wade. “I’m sitting there, and I said to him very calmly, ‘Ed, you need to stop yelling at me. Then I stood up and said, ‘You better stop yelling at me.’ I stood up. He continued and was basically yelling and stuff and was like, ‘You need to (expletive) look in the mirror.’ So at that point I lost my cool, and I grabbed him by the neck and threw him to the ground. I jumped on top of him, because at that point I wanted to beat his (behind). Words were exchanged.”

In the aftermath of the barbarism, the reactionary from Alaska was asked if he regretted administering a Kane-like choke slam on his boss.

“If there’s any regret, I just wish they had left me alone.”

Only in the world of sports and professional wrestling can an individual attack their superior and not be charged with a crime. Shawn Chacon is an average hurler and he should feel blessed that he’s not donning an orange jumpsuit in a “Lone Star State” prison because of his deplorable actions. In the pen, Chacon would have ample hours to spend time “alone.”