Top Takeaways from CC Sabathia's HBO Documentary 'Under The Grapefruit Tree'

CC Sabathia's storied major league career had its roots in his grandmother's California backyard, where he would practice pitching with grapefruits, and eventually concluded in 2019 after 19 years, a Cy Young Award, a World Series championship and six All-Star nods.

But in his HBO documentary, titled Under The Grapefruit Tree: The CC Sabathia Story in a homage to his humble beginnings, Sabathia spoke of the underlying struggles he was facing amid all of his success.

"To this day, I don't think people realize how close I came to losing everything," he said in the documentary.

Binge drinking that he said dated back to the first time he drank at 14 years old followed him throughout the minor leagues when older players would sneak him drinks in the bathroom.

Later, his drinking caused fights with his family and teammates, leading him and his wife, Amber, to begin couples therapy, and he suffered from anxiety during the days after drinking, when he would realize the hurt his actions caused. He would pitch on Monday, drink for the next three days and then not drink on Friday to prepare for another start on Saturday.

Things came to a head at the end of the 2015 season, when he was pictured smoking on a balcony and videotaped getting in a fight while in Toronto. The latter incident was what pushed him to seek help, though he said he wasn't sure if he had the "courage" to tell someone he was struggling with alcoholism.

He was "too f--king drunk" to throw a bullpen session at Camden Yards in Baltimore ahead of the final series of the 2015 season, so he headed home to New York.

He checked into rehab, where he watched his teammates in their first postseason appearance in three seasons.

While there, Sabathia discovered that his struggles were his way of coping with the absence of his father, who shares his name. His parents divorced when he was 12 years old, and Carsten Sr. died in 2003. He told Lindsey Adler of The Athletic that his father's absence "angered" him, and he used drinking as a way to suppress his emotions.

He returned to the team the following season before retiring in 2019. Now, the 40-year-old says he is "at peace" with being "a baseball dad," watching his son's games from the sidelines with his family, folding chairs, cooler and all.

The film, which debuted Tuesday on HBO and is streaming on HBO Max, is narrated by Sabathia and features interviews with his family, combined with footage produced by a film crew that followed the star throughout 2019, his final season in the major leagues.

"I couldn't be more grateful for the chance to give viewers an inside look into my career and to share my unfiltered story," Sabathia said. "I struggled for a long time with alcohol addiction and anxiety, which I pretty much hid from everyone I knew. It's my hope we can inspire athletes and non-athletes alike to open up and let their friends, family and teammates know that there is a path through this. You are not alone."