Browns-Steelers: Cleveland Ca-Pitt-Ulates

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

If you’re wondering what an “ugly win” looks like, look no further that the Browns' 6-3 win in Buffalo last week—a game won despite a horrid passing day from Derek Anderson, who went 2-of-17 for 23 yards and one interception.

“Apparently, Derek is still throwing to Braylon Edwards,” says Eric Mangini. “Now, in Derek’s defense, it seemed our receivers were still catching with Braylon Edwards’ hands.

“What’s most remarkable about our quarterback situation? The fact that I had enough confidence in Derek to leave him in there? Or the fact that I had I lacked the confidence in Brady Quinn not to put him in? The fact is, I’m not too fond of either. As I like to say in regards to our quarterbacks—‘It’s ‘nothing’ personnel.”

Troy Polamalu is expected to return against the Browns after missing four games with a knee injury. That should help improve a pass defense that gave up 282 yards in the air to Daunte Culpepper. It should also make defensive coordinator Dick LeBeau’s evil schemes more diabolical, as Polamalu is often used in a variety of roles in LeBeau’s blitz packages.

“I feel with Troy in the game,” says LeBeau, “I can ‘let my hair down’ as a coordinator. What’s that? You didn’t ask about my hair? You asked with your eyes, friend. You asked with your eyes.”

LeBeau goes “Rapunzel” on the Browns and Anderson, unleashing a merciless blitz on the struggling quarterback. Polamalu grabs an interception, and Ben Roethlisberger throws for 249 yards and two short scores.

Cleveland ca-Pitt-ulates; Pittsburgh wins 27-6.

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