Sweep Dreams: Rocks, Sox, and D-Backs Roll on

Dane Cook's been doing some promo work for TBS. He ends it with "There's only one October." As of now, it is no longer October; it is officially "Rocktober." Here's the rundown of the series sweeps.

Boston Shuts Down The Monkey 

A few years ago, during the Angels last championship run, a monkey became the new face of the team. On Sunday, though, the Rally Monkey wasn't enough to contain the power of Big Papi and Crazy Manny. Both Ortiz and Ramirez homered on Sunday while Curt Schilling kept the Angels at bay for seven glamorous innings as the Red Sox swept their ALDS Series against the Los Angeles Angels of Angels of California 9-1. The Sox will start the ALCS against either Cleveland or the Yankees. The Angels couldn't find the will to rally as they only scored 4 runs in all three games and had a batting average of .192. Sorry Rally Monkey, but you and the team just got straight up spanked.

A Nightmare at Wrigley Field

The Chicago Cubs won the NL Central...on the poor playing of the Brewers and Cardinals. They were picked to win the World Series...because the Diamondbacks, Rockies, and Phillies weren't ready. They were ready...or so everyone thought. As if the Chicago faithful didn't have enough to cry about, they had to endure the final nail in the coffin of their Cubs' beloved dream season. Though Lou Piniella fulfilled his end of the bargain by getting the Cubs into the postseason (finally), the Cubs underestimated the youth of the Arizona Diamondbacks and paid for it. The Diamondbacks won 5-1 on Saturday night, completing the sweep, leaving the Windy City in tears.

I'll Take a Coors Light with my Philly Cheesesteak

There are those who will whine about what happened last Monday night. There are those who still feel the Rockies didn't deserve to be there. There are also those who figured the Phillies would destroy the worn out Rockies. Well I have something to say to those people: The Colorado Rockies are going to the NLCS for the first time in franchise history. The Rockies won a wild one at Coors Field on Saturday night 2-1 to finish off a series sweep of the Philadelphia Phillies. Like the Cubs, the Phillies saw their dreams go up in smoke as their offense couldn't even get out of first gear. Granted, there were some bursts of hope for the Phillies, but not enough to handle the mighty bat of Kaz Matsui. Matsui had at least one hit, including a grand slam, in each game of the series. The Rockies will face the Diamondbacks one more time...or at least 4 more times for the right to represent the National League in the 2007 World Series.

Yankees wake up...and win!!!

The Cleveland Indians needed one more win to reach their first ALCS in over a decade. Unfortunately, they were heading to the "House that Ruth Built." Led by Johnny Damon's three-run shot, the New York Yankees made sure the Tribe's dream of one last thrill was placed on hold as the Yanks rallied to beat Cleveland 8-4 and cut Cleveland's lead to 2-1 in the series. Though he is still hitting .111 in postseason play, A-Rod snapped his hitless streak with a single in the second inning. The series continues tonight, and if the Yankees want any chance of facing the Red Sox one more time, as well as helping Joe Torre return as the manager of the Bronx Bombers next season, New York will have to win tonight and finish it off Wednesday in Cleveland.

As for the Phillies fans who have been bashing the Rockies, as well as me for defending them, there is only one question for those very same people:

ROCKIES WIN!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE 'DEM APPLES?!