Crowd-Sourced Christmas Presents for Manchester United Stars

After asking Manchester United fans for their favourite Red Devil-related Christmas memories, and casting the United squad in a traditional children's Nativity Play, we complete our festive triumvirate with some crowdsourced gift selections for United stars past and present.

We asked and you delivered, like virtual Santa Clauses dolling out presents with abandon. Of course, no one is footing the bill here, which is good news in a number of cases.

There were, of course, plenty of suggestions that Antonio Valencia should be given a left foot, but we have tried to stick with gifts that could technically exist.

We start with an apology to the many people who suggested that Marcos Rojo could do with a new toaster, but James Dixon's suggestion of a toast cookery book wins out.

After all, we have no evidence that he does not possess toast-making technology, we just know he is not very good at using it. Also, Dixon warrants special congratulations for his magnificent use of #BreadWinner. 

Improving the lives of United's players was clearly on the agenda for our contributors. Here we see that even players who might be on the verge of moving away—as Jose Mourinho suggested Morgan Schneiderlin could be in his pre-Sunderland press conference—get a thoughtful gift. 

As always, the impact of noisy presents on those around the recipients should be considered, so perhaps Memphis Depay should be consulted in case Schneiderlin starts playing the tambourine on United's bench.

Bringing happiness to a former United midfielder is on Edward Rose's mind. Roy Keane's softer side always emerges when dealing with four-legged friends. Imagine the look on his face as he gets a brand new puppy. He would have no problem committing to the notion that a dog is for life, not just for Christmas. It would be the fittest dog in the land.

Now, much like buying a child a toy that you really want as an excuse to bring into your house at Christmas, some of our respondents were keen to involve themselves in proceedings.

Think of the stories you could tell...

While your company would surely be delightful, you're right. That simply is not how gifts work!

Of course, not all the gifts were complimentary. Marouane Fellaini came in for a particularly hard time. No crueller present was suggested than by Phil Hartup. Imagine, you come down on Christmas morning to unwrap your first present.

"Oh, this looks like it might be a DVD," you say to yourself. "Or perhaps a PS4 game? No, it's a DVD! Wow, The Godfather, that's great!"

Then the full truth of matters unveils itself to you. It's The Godfather Part III, the cinematic equivalent of a lump of coal.

Although, at least one fan considered the big Belgian's finer feelings.

Rougher treatment even than that was meted out to the man who brought Fellaini to United.

"Is half a lump really enough though?" thought Nate.

Perhaps he was just concerned Moyes would be chilly in the North East this Christmastime. 

If you did, he would almost certainly complain afterwards that he was not given enough time to enjoy it.

But enough of the bah-humbug stuff! It's Christmas! Let's look for some good cheer. And there is no better place to find good cheer than in the heart of Patrice Evra, a man who has made it abundantly clear that he loves this game. 

"

@UtdRantcast I'd adopt a Panda for Evra 

— Matt Williams (@SportingGlasses) December 23, 2016"

It's hard not to think Patrice would approve of Matt's suggestion.

It's hard to say why exactly, but this calls to mind a very pleasing image.

Again, we have to question who this is a gift for, but Paul Pogba and Evra would probably have a good time too, especially if they get to pick the artist.

Now that is a thoughtful gift.

It is unclear here whether Matt Peck is suggesting we purchase Evra on behalf of the squad to provide general Christmas cheer or for the club as a left-back. Frankly, either works.

Many people also suggested Juan Mata might like a gift that costs nothing best of all.

United's No. 8 signs off all his blog entries with "hugs," and Christmas is a good time to give some. 

Extra credit goes to Emilio, though.

He would love it! It's like a permanent hug anytime you want it, in chair form. And his diminutive stature is well suited to a beanbag. Perfect.

If you're getting a present for Mata, you also need to make sure you cater for Ander Herrera. Nick Mugisha has a generous suggestion, hopefully one which would be cashed in during the summer break, as United would not want to lose him from the team while he takes Nick up on his kind offer.

And of course, if you're taking care of Mata and Herrera, then David de Gea cannot be left out.

Now there's an adorable image.

A toaster for Rojo was not the only practical suggestion. 

It is unclear whether a trimmer will do the job or whether Matteo Darmian's facial-hair growth is just very specific. But it's the thought that counts.

Alan Keegan is Old Trafford's stadium announcer. A hat could come in very handy as he stands at pitchside MC-ing the half-time entertainments. 

Ben Hudson's gift may seem as though it lacks thought, but, in truth, who doesn't love a gift card?

From the ridiculous to the sublime though, the most thoughtful suggestion of the lot came from Akhlaq Hanif. Someone should legitimately get this gift for Zlatan Ibrahimovic this Christmas. He would love it.

And with that, we bring to an end the festivities for the year. What United fans would like most of all for their team's stars, of course, are some shiny new medals to add to their collection during 2017. But in the meantime, the above gifts will do.