How Twitter Has Responded to Neymar's Rumoured £240m Move to Manchester United

With a few days remaining in the 2015 summer transfer window, it seems unlikely we will see a huge last-minute deal pushed through. In recent days, however, several newspapers have claimed that Manchester United will vindicate their transfer market letdowns with a highly ambitious move for Barcelona's Neymar. After the sensational rumour first appeared over the weekend, the ante appears to have been upped, according to sources such as the Telegraph and The Sun:

Predictably, many have deemed this huge figure to be beyond the realms of possibility:

Some have also posited theories as to how the transfer rumour originated:

After careful assessment and the application of common sense, the bottom line among fans on Twitter is that a move for Neymar from the Red Devils is incredibly unlikely:

"

I just saw on twitter "Neymar wants to join @ManUtd" My reaction https://t.co/b2iJ2ufME4 #MUFC

— Ray-Z (@BeardoTweets) August 23, 2015"

"

For those of you that believe we'll sign Neymar, I know a Nigerian prince who will pay you millions for your bank details. DM me.

— SM (@Berbaqueue) August 21, 2015"

The rumour did allow plenty of fans to put their cards on the table in terms of their infatuations with famous unobtainable women:

There were also plenty of bold "If Neymar signs..." propositions made. Here are some that are actually suitable for publication:

"

if Neymar signs for United before 2016 I'll burn my house down for bantz

— Marcky Boy (@_FullTimeBlues) August 21, 2015"

"

If Neymar joins United I'll get circumcised, that's how confident I am that he won't

— rbatez (@rbatez) August 23, 2015"

Thanks to the growing list of world-class players with unrequited feelings towards United, the club have faced plenty of mockery recently. The flow of ridicule shows no signs of slowing down:

"

Man Utd in private talks with Neymar pic.twitter.com/gxuSahernW

— JL' (@JakeLowe10) August 21, 2015"

"

I don't think it was Neymar's dream as a boy to one day link up with a player like Marouane Fellaini.

— David (@BlueDavidMcfc) August 25, 2015"

"

'Man Utd approve £140m world record deal to try and sign Neymar' pic.twitter.com/WrYjViZC9O

— BreatheSport (@BreatheSport) August 25, 2015"

Jokes that refer to the failure to capture Pedro virtually write themselves:

A popular theory surrounding this staggering story is that Neymar and his advisors might be "pulling a Dani Alves." This, of course, is the art of generating transfer tattle in order to earn an improved contract with one's current employer:

Regardless of Neymar's intentions, the general consensus is that he—or any other player—cannot be worth £240 million:

"

Neymar is not worth £240 million  #Neymar

— Millie Colbran (@milliecolbran) August 25, 2015"

"

Neymar is not worth over 50m the diving little fairy

— al (@Mxwatt) August 25, 2015"

Even United's faithful—who are aware of the club's bottomless pits of cash—feel the fee is unrealistic: 

It is difficult to find any United fans willing to bet that Neymar will be arriving at Old Trafford before next Tuesday. However, one supporter did feel the need to remind the good folks of social media that a plunge for one of the world's biggest players shouldn't be beyond the reach of a club like United:

There was even a City fan who applied some rationality to the situation:

For now, though, it appears Neymar is going nowhere. But just imagine...

"

Even tho it wont happen, imagine bale and neymar playing for Man U...

— Kevin Falleiro (@Falleirooooo) August 25, 2015"