WWE presents its annual Money in the Bank premium live event from New Orleans on Saturday night, with competitors in the men's and women's ladder matches vying for contracts that guarantee each winner a world title opportunity at a time of their choosing within the next year.
Anticipation builds as fans wait to see which Superstars will outlast their opponents, retrieve their respective briefcases, and set themselves up for a career-defining moment.
That is why I am here to put on my hater hat and tell you exactly why each competitor will not win their match, including two who absolutely, positively, most definitely won't capture the briefcase this weekend in the Big Easy.
Women's Money in the Bank Ladder Match
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Roxanne Perez
The Prodigy has momentum on her side after WWE Creative finally realized she's been on the main roster for over a year, with two ongoing rivalries across Raw and AAA.
Despite that, though, the only way Perez wins this one is if Liv Morgan regains the Women's World Championship and the long-term plan is for her to cash in on her Judgment Day teammate.
Considering how long it took the powers that be to do anything of substance with her in the first place, I wouldn't hold my breath for her to leave New Orleans with the briefcase.
Lola Vice
The NXT export is still finding her footing on the main roster, and the creative team is selective about which stars it worries about shoving down the audience's throats (right, Bron Breakker?). For the former MMA competitor, a guaranteed title opportunity would be premature.
A more realistic triumph is over Raquel Rodriguez for the Women's Intercontinental Championship.
Lash Legend
Legend has been booked tremendously in her big-match appearances, looking like a world beater each time.
The follow-up has been lackluster, though, and the former pro basketball player has shown no real progress since her Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber performances.
Unless Triple H and Co. are planning a massive surprise for the next season of WWE Unreal, expect Legend to look great, smash some fools, and then lose โฆ like always.
Jacy Jayne
The Fatal Influence leader is probably the most likely to win the match, which is why she will not.
The women's United States champion has been fast-tracked for main roster success since she, Fallon Henley and Lainey Reid arrived on SmackDown, and justifiably so.
Expect her teammates to make their presence felt, but expect Jayne to take a big bump onto a table that probably won't breakโor through a ladder that inexplicably willโand lose the match dramatically.
Tiffany Stratton
As the only woman in the match to have previously won the briefcase, Stratton makes sense, as she has grown close to Chelsea Green, and there is plenty of storytelling to be had as a result.
And therein lies why Stratton will not win.
The current creative regime has never met a swerve it didn't love or an opportunity to outthink the fans and didn't take. If it decides Stratton is the most logical winner, it will book her to lose here and find another way to put her and Green on a collision course.
Expect a spectacular aerial spot but another "L" for Tiffy in New Orleans.
Which brings us to the competitor least likely to win the women's match Saturday nightโฆ
Definitely Not Winning The Most: Sol Ruca
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Did you see how quickly they took the Women's Intercontinental Championship off Ruca and gave it to Raquel Rodriguez, only to do little with Rodriguez as champion?
Ruca has a bright future and has been much better in recent weeks, but her booking since the star-making rivalry with Lynch gives me little reason to expect WWE to position her for a world title shot against Stephanie Vaquer, Becky Lynch or Liv Morgan.
If her previous ladder matches in NXT are any indication, Ruca could well steal the show on Saturday night. She is a wildly talented athlete, but she definitely will not be lugging the briefcase around airports for the foreseeable future.
Men's Money in the Bank Ladder Match
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Kevin Owens
Owens carrying the briefcase and taunting former best friend Sami Zayn with it for a few weeks or months would be tremendous fun, but that doesn't feel like the direction WWE Creative is taking with him.
Unfinished business with another participant in this year's Money in the Bank match should factor into his fate in Saturday's contest.
Do expect to cringe or shout at least once, though, as Owens has a long history of teeth-grinding bumps in matches like these.
Trick Williams
It is too early for Williams to win the briefcase.
Sure, WWE Creative has dropped hints in backstage confrontations that Williams is coming for the company's top prize, but he just got the United States title back, and pushing him further at this point would feel counterproductive given how popular he already is.
Trick will be world champion one day, but not now.
Je'Von Evans
Evans has evolved his game so quickly in recent months that if I had the book, I would at least consider giving him the briefcase, building his star power over the coming months, and booking a surprise cash-in sometime next summer.
I am not Triple H, though, so expect The Young OG to steal the show, wow the fans, take a monster bump, and lose.
However, Evans has been all over TV, so the prospect of him eventually hitting the main event scene is not out of the question.
Penta
In a perfect world, Penta would score the win in his second major ladder match this year, capture the briefcase and cash in on Roman Reigns in the near future to capitalize on his unprecedented popularity and momentum.
This is not a perfect world, though.
While the luchador is a favorite to win the men's briefcase, he has already cooled off somewhat after his September 14 close call against The OTC.
The crowd will be behind him, but expect another near miss for the veteran competitor.
Bron Breakker
On paper, this is Breakker's match to win. His rivalry with Oba Femi reignited over the summer, and if there was ever a time to give him the briefcase, it's now.
As noted, Triple H and the creative team are clearly terrified of shoving Breakker down the audience's collective throat. They have, after all, shown remarkable restraint in pushing the second-generation competitor into the stratosphere.
Breakker may well leave New Orleans with the briefcase, but until it happens, I refuse to believe it.
Speaking of not believing it, one more Superstar definitely will not be leaving Money in the Bank with the briefcase for the third time in his Hall of Fame career...
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Definitely Not Winning the Most: CM Punk
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This is no knock on Punk by any means. He is a guy who can walk right into the main event picture tomorrow, challenge for a title and win it.
He is as believable and legitimate a top Superstar as anyone in WWE, and his days of having to win briefcases to earn title shots are long behind him.
One of the best wrestlers in WWE history, he is fresh off his latest run with the gold, and winning the briefcase Saturday night won't boost him in any way.
It doesn't even help move the storyline forward. It would be a win for a win's sake and little more.
Look for his rivalry with Kevin Owens to rear its head and take both men out, or perhaps a cameo by a desperate Sami Zayn to prevent Punk from earning another shot.
Either way, The Best in the World will not be carrying the briefcase out of New Orleans on Saturday.
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