15 Reasons We Can't Have Nice Things in Sports
Streakers, floppers and just general free will—these are reasons we can't have nice things in sports.
Some fans have proved they can't handle the role of informed, fully clothed spectators. Players have, at times, displayed an inability to accomplish a simple task without making egregious errors. Even certain newspaper headlines have made people wonder if those in charge are up to the task.
Just to be clear, this is all in good fun. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone has a bad day here and there. It's just that pointing out those unfortunate times can be good for a lighthearted laugh once in awhile.
Cockiness
1 of 15Nice Things: Home run trots
Perhaps someone who hit his first home run of the year in June shouldn't shush the opposing bench as he rounds third on the home run slow trot. Chicago Cubs outfielder Junior Lake apparently hasn't learned anything from watching Los Angeles Dodgers showboater Yasiel Puig, and the young outfielder incited a brawl with his gesture. It was an extremely mellow brawl, but a brawl nonetheless.
Impulsive Heckling
2 of 15
Nice Things: Rookie phenoms
Many Chicago Cubs fans wanted third baseman Kris Bryant on the Opening Day roster. The hype surrounding him during spring training was reminiscent of Washington Nationals star Bryce Harper in 2012. The Cubs opted to delay his debut by a few weeks, but Bryant finally made his first major league appearance on April 17.
If fans were smart enough to recognize the potential in Bryant, one would think they'd also be smart enough to realize one game doesn't negate that potential. In his first three major league at-bats, Bryant struck out three times. One person in attendance actually yelled, "You suck," according to Mike Dyce of Fansided.
Disregard for Rules
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Nice Things: Exitable trucks
So, NASCAR drivers are not allowed to exit their vehicles on the track. At the Camping World Truck Series at Dover International Speedway in May, driver Jennifer Jo Cobb seemingly forgot that rule. Cobb exited her vehicle to confront another driver after a wreck, and she later received a fine and was placed on probation as a reminder.
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Misspelled Headlines
4 of 15Nice Thing: A world without dictionaries
Pat Venditte is a pitcher for the Oakland Athletics, and he has the incredible ability to pitch with both arms—in other words, he's ambidextrous. However, the East Oregonian (h/t @NeillWoelk) called the pitcher "amphibious" in a headline, which means something different entirely...ribbit. Mistakes happen, but man, that's a bad one.
Unbelievably Poor Aim
5 of 15Nice Things: Honorary first pitches
Carly Rae Jepsen, 50 Cent, even Tom Brady. If these celebrity tosses are any indication of what's to come, the ceremonial first pitch has got to go. What can be a lovely tradition has turned into a bit of a joke, with multiple examples of egregious throwing errors to choose from.
Terrible Aim
6 of 15
Nice Things: Gatorade, er, Powerade baths
Poor Emily Jones. The Fox Sports reporter was simply trying to do her job and interview Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton after his walk-off double against the Boston Red Sox. Let's just say Jones was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She also might need a new dress.
Inaccurate Fan Chants
7 of 15Nice Things: Fan chants
In early February, Duke beat Florida State 73-70 in a basketball game. At one point, down by 10, the FSU crowd inexplicably chose to chant “overrated” at its opponent.
Duke superstar Jahlil Okafor had just been fouled and was at the free-throw line. The chants were presumably directed at him, but again, FSU was losing by 10. Perhaps not the best choice for a taunt at that particular time.
Inability to Predict Frequent Urination
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Nice Things: Massive stadium renovations; also beer cups
Wrigley Field is currently getting a much-needed facelift, and while the full plan isn't scheduled for completion until 2018, progress is well underway. However, if Opening Day was any indication, the Cubs might not make it to completion.
The renovations resulted in fewer working restrooms for the Cubs' first home game of 2015, and the bathroom lines got so long that some fans resorted to peeing in beer cups.
Premature Mobbing
9 of 15Nice Things: Walk-off celebrations
Mercer Island High School should have won its first Washington 3A state baseball championship in the eighth inning, but instead it had to wait until the 13th. Anthony Scalzo drew what would've been a walk-off walk in the eighth inning, but no one remembered their jobs on the basepaths.
Scalzo was mobbed before ever reaching first and the runner on second didn't advance to third, earning him a big fat out, according to Josh Liebeskind of The Seattle Times.
Mercer Island eventually got the win via a walk-off home run, and Josh Stenberg thankfully remembered to touch home plate.
Ill-Advised Social Media Rants
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Nice Things: Twitter accounts
Former collegiate basketball player and current Euro-baller Garrick Sherman didn't take well to the end of his most recent season. The big man played for both Michigan State and Notre Dame, and he is currently with Dinamo Tbilisi in Georgia.
In an (admittedly) alcohol-fueled Twitter rant, Sherman became one of the few people to speak ill of Tom Izzo and one of the not so few people to accuse the NCAA of exploiting student-athletes. He also alleged widespread drug use in college basketball.
Stay classy.
Inability to Make Uncontested Shots
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Nice Things: Can't-miss breakaways
Those who watched Game 2 of the NBA Finals will remember two things: LeBron James' passionate celebration and Marreese Speights' abysmal dunk-fail at the end of the third quarter. The Golden State big man somehow missed a wide-open dunk attempt on an uncontested breakaway, and just for kicks, he followed it up by colliding with a referee.
Too Many Errors
12 of 15Nice Thing: Defensive confidence
Back in September, the Los Angeles Dodgers defense accomplished a rare feat in baseball—they committed three errors on one play. They got an out on a pop fly, but somehow two runs also scored as Yasiel Puig, A.J. Ellis and Hanley Ramirez all made throwing errors on the play.
Luckily for the Dodgers, they still won 9-4, and Ellis called it, "Just another bizarre play in a bizarre game," according to Ken Gurnick of MLB.com. Indeed.
Flopping
13 of 15Nice Thing: Faith in player integrity
Soccer and basketball get a bad rap for flopping, but this Samoan rugby player might take the cake for the most egregious dive ever. If this weren't so hilarious, it would be insulting.
Streaking
14 of 15Nice Things: Tickets to sporting events
Streaking in general is a big reason fans can't have nice things in sports. Get it together people. You're ruining it for the rest of us.
A recent example involved a nude gentleman on a rugby pitch. At least one of the players—Chris Hala'ufia of London Welsh—had the good sense to take down the misguided fan. Hopefully he learned a lesson.
Careless Celebration
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Nice Things: Trophies
Remember when the University of Minnesota football team broke the Governor's Victory Bell while celebrating a win over Penn State? Or that time an Alabama dad shattered the BCS crystal football?
Back in December, the Calgary Stampeders won the Grey Cup, the championship trophy for the Canadian Football League. They then proceeded to break the trophy amid their celebration. According to the Canadian Press (via Sportsnet.ca), linebacker Juwan Simpson explained, "I think I'm the one that did it. I don't know. I grabbed it and was excited, and all of a sudden, it got a little (loose.) Some glue and some duct tape and it'll be good."
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