Cincinnati Reds Make Multiple Trades

It is now official.  The Reds are dead, Fred. We have tried to remain supportive, but unfortunately we can't do it by support alone. 

We could go Pittsburgh on the squad and send them all packing.  What kind of deals could we make?  Let's see.

Let's send Jay Bruce to Tampa Bay for Jason Isringhausen, because you can never have enough relief pitchers, right?  He use to be good didn't he?  I actually think he was more than Corey Patterson good at one time.

Next up on the chopping block, Bronson Arroyo.  Okay Guitar Boy, get your axe and don't let the door hit you where the Good Lord split you.  You are now on your way to the Yanks for Francisco Cervelli.  He has youth on his side and we need yet another backup catcher.

Aaron Harang step up please.  You sir, are not who you use to be.  The ace of the staff does not lead the league in giving up hits.  I would send you back to Oakland, but they don't want you.  You are going to the White Sox for Scott Podsednik (another, no hitting, good fielding, fast running outfielder) and two AA hosers to be named later.

David Weathers, I don't know what to do with you.  You have been playing ball longer than Christ walked the earth, so maybe you should just ride off into the sunset.  There you go, hit the bricks, sir.

Joey Votto, my man, my man, my Chuckie.  What did you do to deserve such a fate as this?  You sir, are going where the lights are much brighter there.  You can forget all your cares and go to Los Angeles.  I have just hooked you up with the Dodgers for Casey Blake and Mark Loretta.  Two more guys that can play anywhere, we need more of those, right?

Well, since we have Blake now. Double E, it is that time.  You are going to Colorado for two Bums to be named later.

Edinson Volquez, I love you babe.  But, you can't stay on a sinking ship.  To the Angels for you for Maicer Izruris, and a saddle that Gene Autry used in most of his movies.

The rest of you are safe, at least until the next tribal council.

If the Bucs can do it and stay within two games of us then, by hell, so can we.

© 2009 Clifton Eastham. All Rights Reserved.