Fantasy Football Team Names 2014: Best Player Name Puns to Use on Draft Day

Adam Wells@adamwells1985Featured ColumnistAugust 13, 2014

Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel passes during practice at NFL football training camp in Berea, Ohio Tuesday, Aug. 12, 2014. (AP Photo/Mark Duncan)
Mark Duncan/Associated Press

Long before you sign up for the fantasy football draft, you spend hours agonizing over what to call your team. It's become an even more stressful experience than actually making picks because you want to have something that's clever, funny and says something about you. 

Over the years, team names have gone from the mundane (like your last name) to the absurd and outlandish. Some of them are obviously trying too hard, which takes away from the fun, but most are like the punchline of a great comedy bit. 

Since we believe that fantasy football is as much about having fun and enjoying yourself as it is winning—well, maybe not THAT much—we have some quality names that get to the heart of what it means to describe your fantasy team. Just don't expect any dirty or vulgar names. 

Best WR-Film Combination: Dezed and Confused

Jae C. Hong/Associated Press

This one only works if you appreciate the modern classic film Dazed and Confused. If you don't have any affinity for the 1993 movie, then we can't be friends and the Dez Bryant pun won't work for you. 

For those normal human beings who love Richard Linklater's classic and want to listen to the soundtrack on an endless loop, this works for you. It also helps that Bryant has had moments in his career with a few mental lapses. 

Last October, for instance, Bryant went on a rant directed at Dallas quarterback Tony Romo in a game against Detroit in which he had two touchdown catches. He's got as much talent as any wide receiver in the sport, but the baggage that comes along with it makes him a little less valuable in real life. 

Since fantasy owners don't have to worry about the antics on the sideline, they can reap the rewards Bryant offers without having to deal with anything else. Based on ESPN analysis, which has the Cowboys receiver going 16th, owners seem to like what they are getting. 

Best Use Of Johnny Manziel: Mistake By The Johnny Lake

There are going to be funnier Johnny Manziel team names that come along over the next month as more fantasy drafts get underway, but this one had the most resonance because it's got the humor factor and embraces so much of what makes Cleveland the sports town it is. 

The city of Cleveland is used to two things: losing marquee players and the bottom dropping out whenever good things happen to sports teams. The fans haven't seen a World Series title since 1948; the Browns haven't won a title since 1964, before the Super Bowl era; the Cavaliers have never won a title. 

A different air has hovered over the city this summer since LeBron James decided to return home, but fans still aren't going to believe a championship is coming in any sport until they see it. 

The team name "Mistake By The Johnny Lake" also works on two other levels. First, it's a play on the famous Cleveland Municipal Stadium, which played home to the Browns and Indians until 1993, and fell apart as the teams were still using it. 

Second, given how much of a lightning rod he is and the nature of football, Manziel has the potential to be yet another Cleveland quarterback draft bust. The Browns certainly hope that isn't the case, but there aren't a lot of people who would be surprised to see him fall on his face. 

Best Use Of A '90s Rap Group: Insane Clowney Posse

GLENDALE, AZ - AUGUST 09:  Linebacker Jadeveon Clowney #90 of the Houston Texans stands on the sidelines during the preseason NFL game against the Arizona Cardinals at the University of Phoenix Stadium on August 9, 2014 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Ch
Christian Petersen/Getty Images

There was a time when the Insane Clown Posse were a big deal in the world of music. Somehow, someway their dark carnival act caught on with the masses. It didn't hurt that they had a presence in wrestling at a time when the sport was at its popularity peak. 

Now, while they are still churning out music, ICP doesn't really hold a place in the pop-culture mainstream. That doesn't mean they can't still find publicity in other, more unique ways. All you have to do is look at the potential marketing opportunities in Houston with 2014's No. 1 draft pick Jadeveon Clowney

In fact, if the Texans haven't already set up a section of the stands called the "Insane Clowney Posse," I would like to offer it up to them.

You can take full advantage of the name in your fantasy draft as a way to show your opponents that no matter how well they think they are doing, you are just one move away from storming into the backfield and delivering a crushing blow that sends your opponent's helmet flying into the air. 

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