The Name Game: MLB 2009 Edition – Part I

Hardest Name To Say Five Times Fast

GLENDALE, AZ - FEBRUARY 21: Travis Schlichting of the Los Angeles Dodgers poses during photo day at Camelback Ranch on February 21, 2009 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

Name That Most Needs Sponsorship

NEW YORK - JUNE 04: Phil Coke #48 of the New York Yankees pitches against the Texas Rangers during their game on June 4, 2009 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)

Most Random Misspelling Of A Common Name

NEW YORK - APRIL 16: Jhonny Peralta #2 of the Cleveland Indians runs to first base against the New York Yankees during opening day at the new Yankee Stadium on April 16, 2009 in the Bronx borough of New York City. This is the first regular season MLB gam

Name That Most Sounds Like A Place

NEW YORK - APRIL 18: Ben Francisco #12 of the Cleveland Indians runs the bases against the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium on April 18, 2009 in the Bronx borough of New York City. (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)

Names That Indicate Something Unpleasant About The Name-Bearers

MIAMI - JULY 30: Dan Uggla #6 of the Florida Marlins avoids a tag by catcher Brian Schneider #23 of the New York Mets in the third inning on July 30, 2008 at Dolphin Stadium in Miami, Florida. The Marlins defeated the Mets 7-4. (Photo by Marc Serota/Ge

Name That Sounds Like Both Words Start With The Wrong Letter

SEATTLE - SEPTEMBER 25: Right fielder Wladimir Balentien #50 of the Seattle Mariners just misses a home run ball by Vladimir Guerrero of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim on September 25, 2008 at Safeco Field in Seattle, Washington. (Photo by Otto Greule

Name That Could Use A Better Variety Of Consonants

NEW YORK - MAY 12: Jair Jurrjens #49 of the Atlanta Braves throws a pitch against the New York Mets on May 12, 2009 at Citi Field in the Flushing neighborhood of the Queens borough of New York City. The Mets defeated the Braves 4-3 in ten innings. (Phot

Best Colonial Name

PHOENIX - JUNE 11: Catcher Eli Whiteside #22 of the San Francisco Giants in action during the major league baseball game against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field on June 11, 2009 in Phoenix, Arizona. The Diamondbacks defeated the Giants 2-1. (Ph

Best Real-Estate Mogul Name

PORT CHARLOTTE, FLORIDA - FEBRUARY 20: J.P. Howell #39 of the Tampa Bay Rays poses during Photo Day on February 20, 2009 at the Charlotte County Sports Park in Port Charlotte, Florida. (Photo by: Nick Laham/Getty Images)

Best Name For Getting You Beat Up In Grade School

ARLINGTON, TX - APRIL 19: Catcher Taylor Teagarden #2 of the Texas Rangers on April 19, 2009 at Rangers Ballpark in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)

Best Duplication Of An Already-Famous Name

SAN FRANCISCO - MAY 14: Brian Wilson #38 of the San Francisco Giants looks on after giving up three runs in the ninth innintagainst the New York Mets during a Major League Baseball game on May14, 2009 at AT&T Park in San Francisco, California. (Photo by J

Best Movie Star Name

ANAHEIM, CA - JULY 01: Alan Embree #41 of the Oakland Athletics is upset after the Angels of Anaheim score the winning home run during the interleague game at Angels Stadium on July 1, 2008 in Anaheim, California. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

Best Action Hero Name

NEW YORK - JULY 12: Bronson Arroyo #61 of the Cincinnati Reds pitches against the New York Mets in the second inning of their game at Shea Stadium on July 12, 2007 in the Queens borough of the Flushing neighborhood of New York City. (Photo by Al Bello/Ge

Most Boring Name In All Of Baseball

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 26: Joe Smith #35 of the New York Mets hands the ball to Manager Willie Randolph and leaves the game after giving up two runs in the fifth inning against the Washington Nationals during their game at Shea Stadium on September 26, 200

Top Five All-Around Names.... Number Five

ST. PETERSBURG, FL - APRIL 19: Infielder Evan Longoria #3 of the Tampa Bay Rays sets to bat against the Chicago White Sox April 19, 2009 at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Florida. (Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)

Number Four

NEW YORK - JUNE 13: Chien-Ming Wang #40 of the New York Yankees stands in the dugout in a game against the New York Mets on June 13, 2009 at Yankee Stadium in the Bronx Borough of New York City. (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images)

Number Three

Number Two

MILWAUKEE - APRIL 10: Milton Bradley #21 of the Chicago Cubs stands ready in the outfield against the Milwaukee Brewers during the Opening Day game on April 10, 2009 at Miller Park in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (Photo by: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

And Finally... Number One

SURPRISE, AZ - MARCH 03: Coco Crisp #2 of the Kansas City Royals follows the aaction from the dugout against the Cleveland Indians during a spring training game at the Surprise Stadium on March 3, 2009 in Surprise, Arizona. (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/G