The Inner Monologue of World Phenomenon Cristiano Ronaldo (Fiction)

The piece below is purely fictional. It is an inner monologue from Cristiano Ronaldo after the world-record £80m deal with Real Madrid had been announced.

My name, as of course many know through my scintillating skills, unparalleled amount of pure talent, and my brilliantly photogenic looks, has become synonymous with football by almost half of the world's population.

One would only need to pick up this morning's best-selling national newspaper and see on the front page: my name, my image, me.

And why is that? Because I know all those millions of scouring journalists, who gather in their many clumps, desperately vying to get a word with me in one of my team's several monotonous press conferences, love me, and are desperate to do the thing they love—write about me and give me the attention they know, and I know, I clearly deserve.

It's obvious they love working around me.

Subconsciously for me, and it's clear the extent to which my humanity-defying raw talent and pure class has so easily affected them.

From just one single switch of allegiance, just one simple little action, I have managed to get every single one of those journalists writing my name and furthering my rightfully high image as the best in the world, as well as managing to get the whole world talking about me.

My extraordinary and historic transfer deal, which like me has broken an astonishing amount of records in the history books, has seen an unprecedented level of media coverage given to what rightfully is the most worthy news story in the world today.

In fact, my story is the most worthy news story in the world for the next week.

However, unlike me, the world is not perfect, and so there are a minority of blatantly jealous haters that do not give me the respect I deserve for my talent.

But it's okay; I did say they were the minority after all. For every hater I have, there are many, many more that love me, and my undeniable talent.

Those haters are unknown nobodies. I am the famous man—the one in the global spotlight, the one the whole world knows.

I am Cristiano Ronaldo dos Santos Aveiro. I am the Manchester United and Portugal legend. I am the world phenomenon.