The Funniest Liverpool Fan Chants

Scousers are famous for their sense of humour and telling of jokes.

Famous comedians have come from the city, such as Ken Dodd and more recently, John Bishop.

Over the years the witty humour of the city has spilled over into some quite comical songs for Liverpool’s players and those of opposing teams. 

I have tried to keep this as far from X-rated as I can, unfortunately missing out some brilliant ones involving John Terry's mum and Wayne Rooney's hair.

Here are some of the funniest Liverpool chants of recent times.

Use the comments below to share your favourite ones, and let me know which one tickles you the most.

Djimi Traore

Mali international left-back Djimi Traore was the subject of some unsavoury criticism during his time at Liverpool.

He would appear panicked and lacking of concentration many a time in Liverpool's defence, but by the time he left in 2009 he had appeared 141 times for the club and was part of the historic 2005 European Cup-winning side in Istanbul.

This song, the second verse of a more positive chant to right-back Steve Finnan, remembered a moment Traore would no doubt like to forget, when he bundled the ball into his own net in an FA Cup 3rd Round tie away at Burnley in 2005.

"

We had a left back called Traore, 
When he played it was a different story,
Own goal at Burnley was his glory,
We had a left back called Traore...

"

Daniel Agger

Arguably one of Liverpool's best defenders of all time, even today his song is massively under-sang at games home and away.

However it did enjoy a period of being sung several years back, with the chant being sung to the tune of "Agadoo" by Black Lace.

The chant refers back to when fellow Reds defender Jamie Carragher threw a coin that had been thrown at him by Arsenal supporters back into the crowd at Highbury during an FA Cup tie in 2002.

"

Agger do! do! do!
Chase the cockneys up a tree
Agger do! do! do!
Just like Carra, Sami too
To the left, to the right,
He brings strikers to their knees
All the Kopites delight for the man signed from Brondby

"

Manchester United

In response to Manchester United fans hammering Luis Suarez following his conviction by the Football Association for using a racist remark toward United defender Patrice Evra in 2011, Liverpool fans decided to make it clear where they stood on the issue of racism.

Liverpool FC were dragged through the mud by the press at the time, and inevitably United fans jumped at the opportunity to label Suarez a racist whenever they could.

Mind you, United fans missed the fact that Evra had in turn said to Suarez, "Don't touch me, South American" or that their song for South Korean midfielder Ji-Sung Park referred to an offensive national stereotype.

Anyway, Liverpool fans decided to set the record straight:

"

We only hate Mancs
We only hate Mancs
We're not racist
We only hate Mancs

"

Chelsea

When Liverpool and Chelsea met many times in the Champions League between 2005 and 2009, Reds fans were, quite frankly, disgusted at the atmosphere-vacuum that is Stamford Bridge.

The club did their best efforts to get an atmosphere going in hope it would inspire the team to victory by handing out plastic flags to match-goers.

Having beaten the Blues in the Champions League semi-final in 2005 en route to winning the club's fifth European Cup, Liverpool fans sung to put Roman Abramovich's club in their place (a song also used on visits to Arsenal).

"

F*** off, Chelsea FC
You ain't got no history
5 European Cups and 18 Leagues
That's what we call history

"

Dirk Kuyt

Dirk Kuyt was somewhat of a cult hero at Liverpool.

Nicknamed "Mr Duracell," Kuyt ran and ran, always putting in 110 percent effort, even if he wasn't the most naturally gifted of footballers.

When he won his first and only trophy for the club in the 2012 League Cup triumph over Cardiff City at Wembley, there was no one player Liverpool fans were more chuffed for than the mighty Dirk.

"

Dirk Kuyt, wherever you may be,
You smoke pot in your home country
You could be worse
You could be a Manc
Begging your sister for a w*** 

"