If Manny Doesn't Play, Should You Have To Pay?

None of us speak Latin, but most of us have heard the term “caveat emptor”—defined by the dictionary that pops up when I hit the F12 button on my Mac keyboard as "the principle that the buyer alone is responsible for checking the quality and suitability of goods before a purchase is made."

When buying tickets and attending a sporting event, you may experience something magical, inspiring, amazing, or whatever superlative you want to use, but the chance exists that you may also catch a real stinker, a waste of your time and cash. Any one of the seven games in the first round Hawks/Heat series qualifies.

Don't want to judge a man by his dreadlocks, but when I heard Manny Ramirez was suspended I assumed it was for marijuana or LSD. Not PEDs. Not a tremendous competitor like Manny. Not further vindication of Jose Canseco (A guy who fake bakes should be vindicated of nothing, ever).

So Manny is suspended for the next seven weeks for taking hCG (human Chorionic Gonadotropin), something every man needs to prevent a layer of goo in the ovaries from disintegrating.

Where does this leave the good folks of Tinsletown who, inspired by those dread-locked billboards, chose to commit (not a word you hear often in L.A.) to the Dodgers and buy season tickets, especially those fans who purchased seats in the section now formerly known as Mannywood?

If the team isn’t going to give them some cash back, maybe a trip to the All-You-Can-Eat Pavilion at five-minute intervals would suffice.

I wonder how you say 'All-You-Can-Eat Pavilion' in Latin?

The Dodgers’ official site featured nothing pertaining to tickets or prices or refunds. Not too surprising. They did, however, decide to stop selling those Manny wigs. Good thing I just stocked up.

Is there any circumstance when a fan should get something back for complete ineptitude on the playing surface, or if a PED-infused player gets suspended?
 
Should Ricky Hatton subsidize my next PPV purchase after his performance against Manny Pacquiao? I know I’d like something back after forking out 60 bucks for those five plus minutes.

Haven’t we all spent money on games after which we felt a tad ripped off? For me:
 
Any Giants game between 1993 and 2007 when Barry Bonds didn't play.

Other than maybe four or five, all Golden State Warriors games from 1995-2004.

The Jessie Evans era at USF (please forgive the WCC hoops reference).

What about something back if you have to endure loud, inebriated fans dramatically diminishing your experience? Go youtube ‘fan brawl’ and see some of the violence people are victim of or witness to at pro sporting events.

Will the Dodgers do anything for their season-ticket holders, especially those who purchased after number 99 signed? Send them all a few of the Manny wigs they’ll no longer be selling?

Of course no Dodger fan will get any of their scratch back because of Mannywood's implosion. It’s in the fine print somewhere in the contract you never read, but sign when you buy tickets. The extremely fine print.

Looking on the bright side, the suspension is for less than a third of the season, the Dodgers are still exciting without Manny (that’s right, I said it), and it’s L.A. – a beautiful place to watch a game on a spring/summer night, especially if you like smog.

The fans ultimately do have the power, and judging by the multitude of empty seats in the vast majority of MLB’s stadiums, they’re choosing to stay home. More so because of the economy than PEDs, but ownership needs to purchase a clue and realize customer service is more important now than ever before.

Now how about a turn at that All-You-Can-Eat Pavilion.

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