A Smooth Criminal (Ohio Wrestling League: Show No. 7)

Cleveland's OWL Arena was bathed in a blinding white light as opera music blared.

When the lights returned to normal, we saw the debuting BERLYN (Alex Wright), insulting the fans in German. Backing up Berlyn was Bam Neely, who took over for Berlyn’s former bodyguard, The Wall (RIP).

Match 1: Berlyn (with Bam Neely) pinned “Secret Agent” Steve Blackman.

Berlyn and Bam were celebrating when Blackman quickly handcuffed them together and wrapped them up with duct tape. He made a quick phone call and said, “The foreign agents have been subdued.”

Match 2: Ernest “The Cat” Miller pinned Kanyon after a Feliner kick.

An angry Kanyon dumped over the Slushee machine. “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo sighed, grabbed a mop, and started cleaning it up.

Match 3: The Congregation (Elijah Burke, Xavier, Elix Skipper, and Shane Taylor) beat The Full-Blooded Italians (Tracey Smothers, Nunzio, Johnny the Bull, and “The Big Don” Tommy Rich) when Xavier pinned Smothers after a No More Drama Driver…formerly known as the Kiss Your X Goodbye.

The Congregation celebrated in the crowd, continuing the special relationship with the Cleveland fans that began when the group formed on Show No. 5.

The Italians started arguing among themselves.

(Music: “Money” by Pink Floyd)

Sean “Val Venis” Morley came to the ring with the members of MorleyCorp, which consisted of all three members of X-Factor (Sean “X-Pac” Waltman, Justin Credible, and Albert).

“I know it bothers you that there is only one faction allowed in this company at a time,” Morley told the FBI. “If you join MorleyCorp, I will make that problem go away.”

“If you still need convincing, I’ve brought an old friend to help convince you.”

BIG VITO came to the ring to reunite with the FBI. There was much hugging and back-slapping. Vito and the members of X-Factor convinced the other FBI members to sign contracts with MorleyCorp.

Match 4: Paul London & “Fabulous” John McChesney beat Modelz Inc. (OWL champion Joey Mercury & “Dojo Boy” Chuck Palumbo).

London pinned the champion with a Shooting Star Press. He will get a title shot on Show No. 8 in Cincinnati.

Palumbo stuck around after the match to pass out Rubik’s Cubes during intermission.

(Music: “Billie Jean” by Michael Jackson)

Coming out of intermission, we were treated to the debut of “Smooth Criminal” SEAN O'HAIRE.

He gave two tickets to an upcoming OWL show to the fan who wrote “The White Michael Jackson” on his gimmick suggestion board after the non-gimmick battle royale.

O’Haire danced to the song, and the bell lit up when he touched it. The ring post, and ring steps lit up, and so did the fans’ Rubik’s Cubes when O’Haire touched it.

Match 5: “Smooth Criminal” Sean O’Haire pinned Chuck Taylor with the Dirty Diana Driver (Michinoku Driver).

After the match, O’Haire was attacked by Los Michael Jacksons (Dangerous & Thriller), a masked team who debuted a similar gimmick on Show No. 6 in Cincinnati.

O’Haire ripped off their Michael Jackson outfits and press-slammed them over the ropes on top of each other.

Match 6: “M-Dogg 20” Matt Cross defeated Josh Prohibition in a ladder match.

The two former partners battled in a brutal war, with Cross barely grabbing the OWL tag title belt (which was set up to determine a winner). Both men crashed off the ladder and received a standing ovation as they rose to their feet.

Matt and Josh hugged, putting their differences behind them. However, Teddy Hart came to the ring and blasted both of them with the other OWL tag title belt.

Ace Steel came to the ring and grabbed the other title belt.

“I have a message from Colt Cabana,” he said. “Colt is getting ready to unveil the new Future Endeavors, but he said he could win the tag team belts with any one of you. So how about the next time in Cleveland, we hang up both belts, and whoever grabs them will be the tag team champions!’

The other three men agreed, and that match will take place on Show No. 9 in Cleveland.

“And now,” Steel said, “please welcome Captain Cabana and the Wrestling Wiggles!”

Cabana came out in a pirate outfit with a feather for a sword, while Harris, Braddock, Spears and Kizarny were dressed as the colorful Australian kiddie singing group, The Wiggles.

(Music: “Captain Feathersword Fell Asleep On His Pirate Ship”)

The fans laughed as the wrestlers quacked and cock-a-doodle-dooed around the ring. The Endeavors were clearly not enjoying themselves.

“That sizucked,” Kizarny said.

“Hey wait,” Cabana said. “We’re missing someone. Where’s Tomko?”

Tyson Tomko came out slowly, shaking his head in disgust, dressed as Dorothy the Dinosaur.

(Music: “Dorothy, Would You Like to Dance With Me?”)

Match 7: Raven’s Flock (Blue Meanie, Perry Saturn, Sick Boy, & Lodi) beat Tyson Tomko, Gavin Spears, Ryan Braddock & Kizarny when Spears tapped out to the Rings of Saturn.

The Endeavors were demoralized.

“Cheer up, guys!” Cabana said. “You need to get into this. We’ll do better on the next show. Your homework is to watch a bunch of Backyardigans episodes.”

“Enough!” Harris said. “This has to stop. We have a rematch with the Congregation for the stable contract on the next show here in Cleveland."

"Cabana, I challenge you a match for control of this faction, right here tonight. If you beat me, I will disappear. You will have this group, and you’ll never see me again.”

“What about me? What about Raven?”

Raven came out with a shopping cart full of weapons.

“Chris Harris, you were on my team in the Leadership Rumble. I was really the last leader standing, so I should have won the stable contract. I’m a part of this fight too, and it’s Raven’s Rules, and it starts now!

Match 8: Raven pinned Chris Harris to win the Triple Threat match after a Raven Effect DDT off the top rope.

Harris had eliminated Cabana earlier in the match after hitting him with a SPEED LIMIT 35 sign, sending up a huge cheer from the Future Endeavors, who took off their Wiggles shirts.

After the match, the Future Endeavors (minus Cabana) walked off as the newest members of Raven’s (very large) Flock, which will challenge The Congregation for the stable contract.

The Cleveland fans started singing “Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye” to Harris.

Harris grabbed the mic, and the fans prepared for his emotional farewell speech.

“Ha ha!” Harris laughed. “I said I would leave if CABANA beat me. See you next time, suckers!”