Tony Gwynn Jr. Destroys Heckler with Trash-Talking Glove Routine

Take a bow, my man. You just won any and all arguments forever.

Though two years old, this video of Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Tony Gwynn Jr. responding to embarrassing hecklers recently surfaced and is proof that you can only fight fire with fire.

Out in left field with little action coming his way, Gwynn Jr. found himself stranded on a veritable D-Bag Island of loudmouth fans at a Colorado Rockies game. That’s when the show began.

Hearing the whiny baying from the cheap seats at his back, Gwynn Jr. slides his glove around and begins flapping it along with the running commentary of a fan I will refer to as “Squawk Magillicutty.”

Every time Squawk pipes up with some raucous jargon, the glove behind Gwynn Jr.’s rear begins jabbering, creating a perfect pantomime of the wagging butt-chute from which this annoying heckler in the crowd is addressing him.

The best part of the whole scene (besides Gwynn Jr.’s ability to mock with style) is the fact that the crowd begins laughing with the outfielder. The player on the visiting team is making more friends than the noisy trash compactor paying to sit in the stands. 

The tides are turning on Squawk, and he can feel it. Naturally, instead of shutting up entirely like he should, he doubles down Emeril Lagasse-style and—Bam!—kicks it up a notch, screaming incoherently in a desperate effort to save face.

It doesn’t work.

The Rockies strike out, and Gwynn Jr. heads into the dugout.

Granted, I have a great respect for good hecklers—as long as it’s original, relatively clean and involves shouting about a player's pastry preferences like this intrepid heckler.

But no one would ruffle Gwynn Jr.’s feathers on this day. The man was rock solid, flustering Squawk and winning over Rockies fans in unpredictable style.

We can only hope Tony has continued his puppet show in minor league ball: Dr__Carson