Fifth Starters Are For Wimps

Teams enter the final week of spring training with most of the hard questions answered. For better or worse, managers pretty much know who they will be sending in to start the season. However, before the bags can be packed for the trip up north, most will have to answer that one pesky reporter’s question: “Skip, who’s gonna be the Fifth Starter?”

Who needs a Fifth Starter? They’re about as useless as a kickstand on a submarine. Where did these guys come from and why won’t they just go away.

I don’t know when someone got the idea that you need five starting pitchers to get through a baseball season. Most likely, it was hatched by a general manager about one second after signing his Ace to a long term multi-million dollar contract.

That’s thinking like the guy who buys a fancy sports car, but only takes it out of garage when the sun’s shining and there’s no traffic. It makes little sense. You spent half your salary on the dumb thing,so you might as well take it out to go get the groceries. Plus, if your Ace is that good, all you’re doing by keeping innings off his arm is leaving him fresh for when he’s a Yankee.

If you’re serious about winning, take your four best and run them out every four days. Pitching on three days’ rest is humanly possible. It was accomplished by a couple generations of guys whose training regimen consisted of not drinking too much the night before their start.

Even having two or three players sharing the Fifth Starter title isn’t good enough. Think about how disappointing it was the last time you got tickets to a Saturday night game only to find some AAA retread on the mound. No doubt, you both got bombed and everyone went home unhappy.

So what do we gain by freeing up a roster spot designated solely for the Fifth Starter? An extra lefty that can come off the bench to pinch-hit sounds pretty good. So does an extra middle reliever that can eat some innings after your Fourth Starter gets shelled in the second inning.

For that matter, show me a team with a good Fifth Starter,and I’ll show you a team with a bad Fourth Starter. Starting pitching in the Major Leagues is just so hard that it’s statistically impossible to find 150 people able to do it well.

It’s not that the guy shouldn’t be on the roster. I’ll even allow the would-be Fifth Starter a start, under extreme circumstances. Stuff happens over a long season, there are 15 inning games, doubleheaders, or maybe even some bad burritos run through the locker room.

So get tough Skip. Your staff can rest during the offseason, when they’re retired, or on the disabled list.

Yeah, and the disabled list is for wimps too.