The Dynasty That Is the Assassin Manifesto: Snow and Wrestling Do Not Mix!

As all of B/R's wrestling section has seen, I have been taking well known articles of the section and sort of Assassinating them.

I have done the Revolution and the Gripe. Now as promised, the Dynasty Manifesto is up. Without further ado, lets get started.

If you have been in North America lately you have noticed that there has been a winter storm coming through. I was so excited to see this because it meant we would FINALLY! get snow where I live.

I live in the best state in the United States, Alabama. Personal opinion there, dudes and dudettes. WE have not had snow in Alabama since early last year, and it barely came and didn't stick where I was.

Also is has not snowed in March since the Blizzard of 1993. I was young, but can remember it was very cold then. So as you can imagine by now, I was excited. But as a wrestling fan, I had to go out and wrestle in the snow.

I mean come on, how can you not right? We had three to four inches coming in, and we would not see this for another year. Maybe longer even.

Some people make a snow man, or have snow ball fights. But not me, no I wrestle in the snow. I know you all are thinking by now why would you wrestle in the snow? I can't really say, other than the fact of me just wanting to.

But as the article heading says, wrestling and snow do not mix. This is very true, and should not be done in Alabama at any time. If you are in another state, the parental discretion is advised. 

But my friends and I wanted to do it, so we did. And I live on a hill sort of. It is sort of inclined a bit, and....well...we had to do it. We threw each other off the hill and did moves on each other, on to the snow at the bottom which was increasing more and more as the snow feel.

It was about 10 to 12 feet from the bottom, so it wasn't to bad.

We did Attitude Adjustments, RKOs, and even Rock Bottoms. The snow was sort of a padding so it didn't hurt us...or so we thought. I was up, and I saw one of my friends at the bottom. I had to do it.

I did a Swanton from the top of the hill, I landed and it wasn't bad since I landed on the snow and my friend. So I did it again, but then I kind of hit weird and there was a lot of ice by the trees where water had fallen before.

I live in the woods sort of, so it was kind of hard to explain. Imagine National Lampoons Christmas Vacation when Chevy Chase slide on a can lid down a hill, eventually stopping by a Walmart.

He went through woods and what not on his way to what appeared to be pain at the end. That is where I live, the wood-line area. Maybe a few more houses though.

But at the hill area there was snow, but ice sticks too as we all know. After my second Swanton I slide onto the ice and kept going a long time. It seemed the ice would never end.

I had no idea why there was so much ice in the first place, I mean how could all of this water get here? Come to find out, my neighbor who lives just a little down the road emptied his pool earlier in the week.

That is where we were wrestling as you may have figured out by now. So meanwhile I am sliding, while my friends attempt to chase after me. I couldn't stop by myself; I had to have one of them catch me to stop.

It seemed as if it would never end, and I knew like Cheve Chase knew in Christmas Vacation, pain was coming. I am still sliding seeing everything pass me by. In my mind, I was praying I would not be hurt to bad.

Well I saw the ice was about to end shortly, and it did, but it was going to be by a road. I saw it coming, and was hoping no traffic was going to be there. Luckily there was not any there.

However the roads were icy that day too, so I kept sliding, but the ice was over off of the road so then I slide until I hit a tree off to the side. And it seemed I was in a cartoon as the snow from the tree feel on me.

So that has proved to me that Snow and Wrestling do not mix. I should say Ice and Wrestling do not. But of course being dumb guys, my friends wanted to see me do it again.

Some sports may be able to be played in the snow like Hockey and football. But when it come to wrestling, Snow and Wrestling do not mix. Just Saying...

The Dynasty Manifesto has been Assassinated.