The Secret Identity Of "M" Revealed

So I'm sitting on my couch watching Edge and Cena go back and forth on what the R in Rated R Superstars meant. And before I could correct them both by yelling "Retard" at my TV screen, a light bulb went off.

The B/R is home to another one letter superstar, M. His identity is hidden by a pic that looks like it was taken at a family reunion of Big Foot and the Loch Ness Monster. (err, you know? Their pics are always distorted...oh never mind)

So I started to think, who is this mystery man that steals the laughter of over 3,700 wrestling geeks. Garnering 22 worthy POTD votes.

But before I could get to how he does it, I have to go back to who he is. And the secret to his identity lies with the letter M. You can now call me Chris Jericho because I've cracked the code. Here's my thought pattern. It's a little like the Divinity Code so try and keep up.

"M" on the first level let's us know he's male. Or was that his voice when he called in for the most riveting five minutes on Hit the Ropes Radio, Troubled Genius and Wit of the Illustrious and Enigmatic M?

Next, you take the M and flip it to create a W, which is the second letter in the word owned. Owned is exactly how you describe the written beatdown that was delivered to one top writer.

And when you look at that beating, you will see that it was delivered in his thirteenth article, which reflects what? The thirteenth letter in the alphabet... you guessed it, M.

The next logical sign his revealing of all his stats. You think he's doing it just to rub it in our faces how awesome it is? Nope. It's a code.

You take the 3,700 article reads and divide it by his number of articles. 284 and some change. Take that number and divide it by the number of POTD votes, 22, and you get 12.9. Which rounded up equals 13!

Now that's thirteen three times. It's another sign, but I was two dumb to figure it out before. The third time is the charm. The 13 is significant because of the man who loves the number 13... Taz.

M is Taz!

Just kidding. But that does bring us to the Hit the Ropes opening theme, Taz's theme song. There's no coincidence there my friend.

M is the first guest to be on the show every week. He's the first person to have his own segment, the before mentioned Troubled Genius and Wit of the Illustrious and Enigmatic M. And he's the first to bring up an unrelated, related wrestling topic on the show "Why are Minorities Pinned Down and Stomped on By the WWE?"

His series of No. 1s leads us back to the man who caught the beat down in the 13th  article, Mr. No. 1 Joe Burgett.

That's right folks. You heard it here first. Although I do credit TJ for calling Joe out on his multiple accounts, he's wrong. Joe doesn't have multiple accounts and I am the first one with proof.

You think someone could really make 32 grammatical errors in a seven word sentence if he weren't trying? Me neither.

The truth is, M is the mastermind behind it all. And oh what a plan.

Because Joe isn't the one with multiple accounts, M is! This plan is five months in the making. When he was having trouble ascending the ladder of the wrestling community.

Not because he couldn't, but because it was too easy. So set up his alter ego, a Bizzaro M if you will. He created someone with a huge ego, horrible grammar and hated by many.

He created his toughest rival yet. And if you take a look at it, he only comes on our radio show to get it on the level of his, err Joe's, which had a whopping double-digit  viewership.

He said in his 13th article that he wanted someone to write an article about him. That was a complete wink wink as Joe has had an amazing 11 articles written about him.

M might as well thrown Joe, AJ Styles, and all his alter egos on the face of that famous mountain as it is HE that has numerous accounts.

As to what M stands for: try Multiple, Many, Mucho or just Manipulative because he has owned us all!

And just as M always throws down favorite quotes, I have found a famous one of my own:

"You've (B/R) just been handed a verbal beatdown from the street down. Now can you dig that... SUCKAAAAA."

-King /Streets of Houston Booker T

M please don't hate me for comparing you to Numero Uno. If you were to become filled with hate and boycott our show and my future articles I would be devastated. And that's real talk my friend.