The MLB Steroid List Is Worthless

In light of the current A-Rod scandal, the steroid issue has once again been thrust, center stage, into the court of public opinion. And the three major actors in this ongoing Greek tragedy have returned to reprise their starring roles.

For those that have been living in a hostel on the outskirts of the Arctic Circle for the past 10 years, allow me to introduce the players.

The Naive: Widely recognized, this faction never fails to be surprised when a player is linked to steroid use. The very idea that these incidents continue to occur is taken as an affront to their sensibilities. 

Terms like " tooth fairy " and " rose-colored glasses " are often used when referring to these folks.

The Angry: Also familiar in most circles, this group sees the epidemic of cheaters as a violation of everything they hold sacred, and feel that the only remedy is to yank it out by the roots. Terms like "lynch mob" and "mob mentality" are often invoked in reference.

The Indifferent: These fatalists are of a mindset that this problem, much like death and taxes, is inevitable, and will live in infamy for all time. Does "who gives a rat's ass" strike a chord ?

Now that we are up to speed on the cast, on with the show. 

But Wait ! 

My playbill is incomplete. Who is the hero? Who is the Villain? The good guys, the bad guys? Who is right and who is wrong?

That's easy. They're all villains. They're all bad guys. They're all wrong.

Here's why. The naive refuse to admit that this grand old game is, now and forever, big business. And in big business, people are inherently ruthless. And selfish. And Greedy. The warm and fuzzy game that we grew to love is about as likely to return as $1.50 beers.

Live with it. Are there still players out there who respect the integrity of the game, abide by the rules, and play the game the right way? You betcha. But they don't make headlines.

The angry need to get a grip. Face it, the game doesn't care about you. Just your money. And you know it, and it pisses the shit out of you. Blood is what you crave, and you want every guilty party exposed to the light of day.

You rationalize this by claiming that it's the only way to clean up the game. If only you truly believed that.

Expose these overpaid, pampered, prima donnas for the frauds they are. How dare they laugh at sums of money that could support some third world countries, while you work your ass off just to pay the bills.

They hold out, and play when they feel like it. You would never disrespect the game like that. You call baseball work.

So, let's release the list of 104. Make them pay. Who cares about their right to privacy? They cheated, and should be outed. It's not fair to those who are clean. Do you know who's clean? Never mind that the "list people" were randomly selected and promised that the results would never see the light of day by their bosses.

What about those who were fortunate enough to skip the lottery? Might there be some cheaters who escaped the gallows? If I was an "outee" I would probably be bitter, and leak a name or two.

So might a reporter, or a personal trainer. And never mind that there is probably a PED out there that won't even be identified for another 10 years. Admit it, you just want vengeance.

Ah, you indifferent types. Look where that "can't stop it, so why bother?" attitude has gotten us. Just let it go, and focus our attention on important stuff. They probably all do it, and always will do it.

Tell that to the Tyco employees, or the Enron folks. Is your local bank still around, and if it is, who owns it? What the hell, give 'em a mortgage, they look like hard working folks. The Army can handle those guys at Gitmo, why police them. Do you hear a buzzing on your end of the phone line?

So there you have it. All the world's a stage, and we merely players. Just not very good ones.