WWE for Dummies: How To Classify WWE Superstars

Alright Ever had problems classifying things? With so many types and kinds of wrestlers in the WWE it might be difficult to keep with them. Well look no further, your prayers have been heard and AkD is here to help.

I know what your thinking, AkD is the man. I'm not the man, but the man's man. I don't want to go off about myself, so I have a new article. How to classify WWE superstars. We have big men, little men, high fliers, technicians, power houses, brawlers and so forth.

What I will present to you is an easier way to classify our superstars, so even the newbs won't be lost right away..so without further ado, WWE's classification of superstars in "BIRDS"....

Humming birds/Blue Jays/Gooses- These birds are mostly peaceful as they are our wonderful Divas. Melina, Candice, Michelle McCool, Layla, Natayla, Maryse, and Beth Phoenix can be found here. Beth can sometimes be classified under the pigeons.

Crows- These are the guys who don't get much airtime. Usually they worked Dark matches. Chuck Palumbo (I think he got released) and so forth. Crows can also be found in ECW. Examples include Jamie Noble, and said to say Finlay.

Woodpeckers- Wood peckers are funny birds to look out, but aren't good in combat. They do know how to survive those harsh winters if they don't fly away. There used o be a number of them, but it seems like there's one left now...in the form of Santino Marella.

Pigeons- These are the little guys. Sorry Rey but your included. Examples of these birds come in the form of Brian Kendrik, Kung Fu Naki, Jimmy Wang Yang, and the occasional Kofi Kingston.

Hawks- These are up and coming and future vultures. Randy Orton and Edge were Hawks not too long ago. Chris Jericho is at the peak of the Hawks. He is joined by MVP, Matt Hardy, CM Punk, and Regal. Jericho may be better than these birds but he's not quite yet a Vulture.

Pelican/Ostrich- Pelicans are big mouth birds, so the WWE equivalent is stars who talk to much. These birds also tend to rate themselves beyond their actual potential We have Chavo Guerrero, William Regal, Dolph Ziggler, Mr Kennedy, and Carlito and Primo (they look weird).

Jesse and Fetus also fit into this category as well.

Cardinals- I used this one because it reminds me of the MLB/NFL team. I hear the word Wild and focus on it. These birds are our wonderful high flyers, stunt dummies, and dare devils. Hardys, RVD, CM punk, Evan Bourne, Rey fits here too, and sometimes Kofi Kingston.

Chicken Hawks- These are our lovely Submission-ist, Brawlers, and power houses. Here you can find, Vladimir Koslov, Triple H, JBL, John Cena, MVP, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Benoit, Jericho also fits into here, and so does the McMahons.

Scarecrow- Don't be fooled! This is the rarest species around here! There's one and only one...Undertaker.

Vultures- These are the guys who just have no limits. They swoop down for their prey and anyone in their way can be considered "finished". They usually show rage show you'll know one when you see one. This comes in the form of Randy Orton, Edge, Kane, Mike Knox, and occasionally Chris Jericho.

Dodo Birds- In history they are called the flightless bird, as they can't fly. In WWE the same applies. Dodo's are the Big men. Mark Henry, Big Show, The Great Khali, sometimes Umaga.

Bald Eagles- Not all of them are bald, but many of the are as these are the eldest birds we have around. They had their days years ago and still squawk about it. When the Vultures try to claim the territory (the ring), The eagles come in for "one last showdown". These are Stone Cold, Ric Flair, HBk sometimes, and Hulk Hogan.

Doves- How can I forget the doves? Who are they? I can't speak its top secret, I might get assassinated..ahh what the heck! These elegant white birds are going to save B/R!

Save us better than Y2J ever dreamed he could. Not much are know on these birds, But you can Berg the ass kisser, AJ A-hole, and the bird who probably is portraying all of them, Mr. Uno.

I hope this article gave you guys some knowledge. It's so easy a caveman can do it right? So why can't you?

This has been an BRBVLR4L article...thanks for reading