The Return of the Chamber Part I: Previewing Raw's Subpar Chamber

As of this week’s Raw, four matches have been scheduled at No Way Out. Of course, the Elimination Chamber makes its return featuring, “for the very first time,” BOTH (Holy typical WWE!) World titles being defended inside the Chamber.

On Raw, you’ve got the most awkward-looking Chamber match ever assembled. Take a look…

-Rey Mysterio can’t draw in a Chamber match, because well, I don’t think ANYONE wants a 5’6” guy get his lunch handed to him inside a steel Chamber. Also, Rey Mysterio is great, but he can’t do well with any type of hardcore match stipulation. I have nothing against Rey, it’s just, well, I just don’t see him in the Chamber.

-Kofi Kingston? Where in the blue hell is CM Punk? Don’t get me wrong, Kofi is very exciting in the ring, but he’s not nearly popular enough to be put in the Elimination Chamber. He’s not Jeff Hardy, doesn’t have an extreme background (don’t remember the last time he used a weapon), and I think everyone at B/R is still mad that Punk isn’t being given a chance.

I think things would suit better if Kofi was the Intercontinental Champ and Punk was pushed in the Elimination Chamber.

-Mike Knox. You poor, poor jabronie. Credit to Shane for making that article on Mike Knox’s beard, but I think Knox is getting pushed way too much. This is starting to get so old, I’d rather have (THE) Brian Kendrick constantly make trash promos on Triple H.

Yes, he can wrestle (partially) but his in-ring charisma is less than Batista, which is completely saying something.

This is so awful to watch; I’d free HBK from JBL, turn JBL back into Bradshaw, sign up Ronnie Simmons, and hire the APA to beat him so bad, they could draw APA on his back and shave HIS ENTIRE beard off.

Wow, this Elimination Chamber sucks as I’m writing it out. The thought of Mike Knox in there is vomitorious. Thankfully, we will be saved (Thank you, Y2J!). Now for the good….

-Chris Jericho is one of the biggest attractions on Raw today, besides Legacy and HBK. Jericho, of course, is a vet in Chamber matches, going at it almost every time. His spots are just insane. Remember when Goldberg speared him through the glass five years ago at SummerSlam? Nuff said.

-JUST READ THIS ONE ONCE. John Cena actually benefits the Chamber match. Although I’d still rather have HBK as champ, Cena actually made the 2006 Chamber look like a good match. He has enough experience, unlike Knox and Kofi. He has enough charisma in the ring, and sell moves enough (but not too much) to survive a Chamber match.

And plus, Cena can’t really be put anywhere else right now, because his sporadic feud with Jericho wouldn’t really result in anything special, especially at a Pay-Per-View with two Chamber matches.

-Kane is just fun to watch in the ring. He’s easily has been in WWE long enough that even as a heel, he gets the pop of a face from the veteran fans. He’s in the league with HBK, Undertaker (as a face), and as a veteran, he deserves a chance to Main-Event again.

Although you’ll never see him win a World title again, he’ll still be a WWE legend the minute he leaves.

See, Raw wasn’t that bad! If you put a censor sign over Mike Knox, though, instead of the old WWF stuff from the Attitude Era, things would be better. Just a thought…

So SmackDown, how would you match that?

P.S. The Return of the Chamber: Part II, will come on B/R in either a couple hours if I get enough comments, or probably early next week.