Power-Ranking the Best Kinds of SportsCenter Top Plays

SportsCenter isn't perfect—even in their rundown of the top plays of the day. 

You would think the greatest collection of sports plays would be a no-brainer initiative. Such an endeavor is far from objective though, and ESPN's love for some pretty objectionable sports plays has us pretty sad—and bored. 

It's time to power-rank, once and for all, the kinds of plays that really get us hot and bothered as fans. 

Here is a breakdown that features the kinds of plays that we hate up front and the kinds that we can't get enough of at the top. 

Some of these may never feature on the network and simply reflect the kind that we see far too often at the end of a hard day. 

We all work hard for a living. The last thing we want in the world is more WNBA layups. 

Of course, we could be wrong, but we doubt it. Tell us what you think is the worst type of Top Play featured on SportsCenter. 

87,647. Lacrosse Highlights

Coming in at the 87,647th slot is lacrosse.

If it's hard to follow a hockey puck on ice, it's down-right impossible to see what's going down on the lacrosse field. 

It ends up looking like dozens of bros out to catch some butterflies, and I am not a happy camper. This past Saturday, Chelsea won the Champions League, and not one of the plays from that emotional game was featured on the late Top Plays. 

However, I do remember seeing two lacrosse highlights. 

I'm not sure if this is some kind of sick joke that the network is playing or a clever gamble that this sport will suddenly take over the nation like a Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin buddy film. 

I may be down for this if they gave us less of these types of highlights and more of these. 

86,476. WNBA Layups

You know how I know it's WNBA season? I find I watch far less SportsCenter than I would normally. 

For some reason, SportsCenter really believes anything happening in the WNBA constitutes as an exciting highlight that you can't live without. 

Here is a breakdown of the top plays in 2011, any of which you might find at a local park featuring overweight athletes taking their Sunday pick-up game far too seriously. 

943. Baseball Diving Catches

This video combines two magical things that SportsCenter goes crazy for: the Little League World Series and diving catches. 

I am all for diving catches, but showing five a day tends to make them all blend together and look the same. 

124. Lob City

Blake Griffin and his random acts of gravity defiance deserve the middle slot in the rankings. They sit comfortably in the middle for a very good reason. 

For one, we have seen Griffin dunk just as much as we have seen Stan Van Gundy perspire. These things just get a little nauseating to look at. 

However, there are times when a Griffin throw-down or another Clippers' alley-oop deserves mention in a daily breakdown. 

If only dunks could win championships, too. 

53. Soccer Goals

I know what some of you might be saying, but I like to refer to you people as "wrong."

SportsCenter already has too many goals featured on the breakdown.

52. Hockey Saves

I don't count myself among the legions of hockeyheads that love this hard-hitting sport. However, even I can't dismiss how amazing some of these saves truly are. 

No human should be able to move as swiftly as some of these goalies. 

23. Anything Football

Let me get real with you all for just a second: Football games can be just as boring as any sport ever crafted. 

Punters, timeouts, huddles and video reviews can slow a great game down. Watching some magnificent plays in highlight form handles all of those issues. 

Trim away the fat and give us the Kate Upton of sports replays. 

2. Buzzer Beaters

Yes, may I have another. 

Unlike Skip Bayless, buzzer beaters never get old. They arrive out of nowhere and keep you flummoxed for days afterward. 

1. Not Top 10 Plays

Oddly enough, the plays I want to see a great deal more of are the "Not Top 10 Plays." 

Featured on Fridays, they are the embarrassing misses and bizarre moments captured throughout the week. 

Now this tickles my fancy in the best way imaginable. Forget once a week, we need to see a few of these a day and kill off some of the lower-ranking highlights before they all force us into a boredom-induced coma. 

1 Times Infinity. JaVale McGee

Number one with a bullet is JaVale McGee and anything he does with or without a basketball. 

He is that rare athlete that is more an artist than he is a sports star. In fact, it may be the rarity of these moments that makes them so desirable. 

Enjoy them like an expensive wine. 

Also, I firmly believe there should be a video feed fixated on JaVale McGee the second he gets to the stadium, so we don't miss one bizarre moment. 

Follow me on Twitter, and we can fight about it. 

Follow @gabezal