Five Reasons MLB's Spring Training Stinks

I used to love spring training.  Then again, I also used to love tapioca pudding until I realized it was the dessert du jour at every mental institution on the East Coast.

Spring training for me now marks my annual sports defragmentation.

The Super Bowl is over, and that's good because my liver is full and my wallet is empty.

Hockey and basketball are still in their pre-seasons.  You see, these postseasons last longer than most marriages nowadays.

Golf is boring, but it’s nice and relaxing to watch, especially for those of us holed up in cold weather places.

NASCAR is silly.  I mean, cars going around in a circle for four hours?  On TV?  Or is it just me?

College basketball has officially crossed the threshold into super-saturation.  There were 34 televised games here last Saturday. Which ones should I watch?  How 'bout none.

No longer are there any boxing matches of interest to watch.  And if one does come along it airs at midnight, costing $79.95.  

But that's what you get in March these days.  A lot of nothing.  If it were not for the NFL’s free agency, the only television I would be watching would be the Military Channel down at the American Legion hall.

I need baseball, and the Grapefruit and Cactus Leagues aren't cutting it.

We know spring training no longer needs to last six weeks.  Today's players are all in shape 12 months a year.  If they're not, they’re not long for the game.

I hate spring training because...

1.) It’s obviously too long.  Three weeks would be better.

2.) Who wants to see the Mets’ No. 67 pitch to the Braves’ No. 72?  Most stars play sparingly, further proving point number one.

3.) The fans no longer have the access to the players that they used to.  If you go down to see your team, don't expect any autographs.  Many players are prohibited by certain vendors and memorabilia firms to sign autographs.
    

4.) Most teams have their lineups and rotations set before spring training, so where is the suspense?  Each team offers only a handful of questions.

5.) March is the longest month of the year (even with St. Paddy's in the middle to break it up).  It's cold and wet and miserable in New York.  These games on TV are a tease.

If you don't agree with these reasons, you must have some of your own.  It’s not like you’re going to sit there and tell me you actually LIKE this time of year.