The Morning Tailgate

10 years down the road when you’re drunk at a trivia contest and the sports category asks what player holds the record for most career home runs by a second baseman, you’ll think about it for a second, converse with your friends, and provide “Ryne Sandberg” as the answer.

You’ll be wrong, of course, because we know the venerable Jeff Kent holds that record.

Kent retired yesterday with 377 career homers, a .290 career average and a NASCAR-worthy mustache. He also leaves the game as one of the most renowned pricks to ever play it.

The fact that he’s stepping aside to spend time with the family while simultaneously ridding baseball fans of his eternal frown is reason enough to earn this morning’s first bratwurst.

But we’ll go one further and add an additional bratwurst for his historic altercations with resident a-holes Barry Bonds and Milton Bradley. Hey, if you’re going to beat up a conceited psycho, might as well do it with a pencil-thin mustache-wearing second baseman who holds a similar level of a-hole-ness .

God speed, Jeff Kent. Thanks for the enlightening, wonderful personality.

January 22

1949 - Steve Perry is born. We need not say more.

1982 - Reggie Jackson signs a four-year deal with the A’s worth close to $4 million. The move to the West Coast sets the stage for Jackson’s short run with the Angels and his attempted assassination of the Queen.

1988 - Greg Oden is born in a nursing home.

1994 - Bret “Hitman” Hart and Lex Luger are each awarded the win at the WWF Royal Rumble in Rhode Island. See, because both men’s feet touched the floor at the same time, both were declared the victors. Matt Sebek never liked Bret Hart because of his messy hair.

The old JoeSportsFan.com server

After weeks of slowness, we’re happy to report the transfer to a new server is complete. Not that you should care, but it should make your JSF journey more enjoyable. If you notice any hiccups, feel free to let us know.

Actually, screw that … go ahead and forget the old server. Piece of unruly garbage.

Hey… tonight … 8-10 CT … the JoeSportsFan Show

With the release of Jay McGwire’s new book in which Mark McGwire does steroids, Josh Bacott brings some excerpts from the novel that didn’t make the publisher’s cut.