USMNT: Top 10 Tweets of the Week (Vol. 5)

What do you do when you're young, gifted and famous? You open a Twitter account and tell the world your business, of course.

Musicians, actors or athletes—everyone needs to let off a little steam now and then. For those of us who cover U.S. soccer, we're just happy that so many of the players choose to do it so publicly.

This week we've got Lil Wayne, go-karts and both good and incredibly, incredibly stupid April Fools' Day pranks.

Welcome to Vol. 5 of the Top 10 Tweets of the Week from the player pool of the U.S. National Team.

No. 10: Brad Evans Sets Realistic Goals

There’s an old saying that goes, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” Apparently Brad Evans never got that bit of advice when he was growing up. So he’s set his sights on a goal that is a bit more… realistic. From @brad_evans3

"

I aspire to one day have a closet filled with only wooden hangers.

"

Call me crazy Brad, but I’m pretty sure you could make that happen with one trip to IKEA.

No. 9: Mix Diskerud Needs a Good Burrito

It’s the little things that make a place feel like home. Some people have a favorite coffee spot. Others sit on the same park bench every day for lunch. For Mix Diskerud, life in Belgium just got a little sweeter. From @mixdiskerud:

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My life is complete! Didn't think they had Mexican food here in Belgium before today. Found a little section in the corner of a store...

"

Apparently taco shells in Belgium are as rare as Panko bread crumbs at my corner convenience store. That seems like reason enough for Mix to hand in a transfer request immediately.

No. 8: Zarek Valentin Thinks Leonardo DiCaprio Is Dreamy

It’s always nice when a professional athlete shows the softer side of their personality. But things get out of hand occasionally. Zarek Valentin should hear about this update for the rest of his life. From @dubbzv:

"

On another note, Titanic 3D tomorrrowwwww.... Who's going?!?!? Hewwww yeahhhh! #neverletgo

"

One thing I can assure young Mr. Valentin is that the only people going to see Titanic 3D are the women who were 13-year-old girls when the movie originally came out.

Wait a minute…a theater full of emotional women getting all hot and bothered by a tragic love story? Umm, Zarek, if you need a wingman, I’m available.

No. 7: DaMarcus Beasley Realizes He’s Really Old

It happens to us all one day. You start making weird noises when you get up off the couch. You start waking up feeling like someone beat you with a bat. You drive around the parking lot three times just so you don’t have to walk a long way into the store.

DaMarcus Beasley had an old man realization this week. From @damarcusbeasley:

"

Enjoyed the 2 days off, but I feel worse with 2 days free than just 1.. Does that mean I'm gettin old?? Lol

"

Yes it does DaMarcus. Yes it does.

No. 6: Benny Feilhaber Sucks Up to the Boss

Out of sight, out of mind. And a professional footballer who is stuck on the trainer’s table with an injury is as out of sight as you can get.

To make matters worse, Benny Feilhaber has watched his New England Revolution go on a winning streak while he’s been shelved. So not being able to stay in head coach Jay Heaps’ thoughts any other way, the midfielder decided to go with flattery. From @b_feilhaber22:

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Halftime report, I'm loving jay's new trench coat!! Keep it going boys! #revslove

"

It was a very nice trench coat though. That Jay Heaps cuts a dashing figure. Good luck coming back Benny.

No. 5: Alejandro Bedoya Leaves Maurice Edu in the Dust

Healthy competition between teammates is a good thing. Alejandro Bedoya is the low man on the American totem pole at Rangers having to watch Maurice Edu and Carlos Bocanegra from the bench most weeks.

But at least Bedoya could dust Edu off at the go-kart track and post the evidence for the world to see. From @alebedoya17:

Just like in Mario Kart, I'm the best!!! Fastest time of the day! Where is @MauriceEdu? Haha #stayintheslowlane

Good job Alejandro. But anyone who has ever been stuck behind a little old lady out for a Sunday drive knows that lapping your elders on the roads isn't that big a deal.

No. 4: Maurice Edu Calls BS on Alejandro Bedoya

Wait just a second. Maurice Edu has his own photographic evidence from go-kart racing that says Alejandro Bedoya wasn't the fastest car of the day. From @mauriceedu:

"

Just finished go karting with the boys. Yessir, fastest time of the day Me, kart 13! @kylebartley22 @GGS8 @alebedoya17

"

Of course it is just like the elderly to not even be able to figure out how to put their name on the machine. Kart 13? It’s just like my grandparents' answering machine.

No. 3: Heath Pearce Reveals the Reason He’s Single

My brother once broke up with his girlfriend as an April Fools Day prank. That didn't go well. She punched him and they stayed broken up. Lesson learned. Heath Pearce apparently learned a similar lesson a bit later in life. From @heathgpearce:

"

Need april fools practice. Last years fake engagement proposal was not well received. Me "will you.." her "OMG, (TEARS)" me: "Ummm april fools?"

"

So as my brother demonstrates, this kind of thing will happen. Of course, we were in sixth grade. Heath is just a few years older.

No. 2: Herculez Gomez Retires

A much better use of the license afforded by April Fools Day is to give ever-optimistic U.S. national team fans a minor heart attack. That’s what Herculez Gomez managed in the middle of his flood of goals for Santos Laguna. From @herculezg:

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I've thought about this for a while now. I’m giving you guys the heads up 1st. This will be my last season playing soccer.

"

Gomez only made us wait a few minutes before revealing the prank. Everyone was relieved except for the other U.S. forwards who would really like for him to retire, or at least stop scoring like he’s playing against a bunch of 12-year-olds.

No. 1: Freddy Adu Considers a Rap Career

Freddy Adu became a millionaire as a teenager. So it makes a lot of sense that he would end up hanging out with Lil Wayne who founded the Young Money record label. From @freddyadu:

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Me and lil Wayne and that boy @SRod7

"

Why is this number one? Because I like Lil Wayne. Writer's prerogative.