The Doctor's Weekly Raw Recap: The Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The first post-WrestleMania Raw was better than average in my opinion, but the closing moments of the show are what will have people talking.

Brock Lesnar made his much-anticipated return tonight and attacked John Cena, much to the delight of the crowd in attendance.

We also saw Chris Jericho take his feud with Punk up a notch when he doused Punk with alcohol and then hit him with a bottle right in the back of the head.

The rest of the show had great moments as well, but I will get to those later.

I truly appreciate my loyal readers but for those of you who are new, each week I recap Raw with a long list.

The entries are made up of equal parts humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials too just because I get bored during them.

I have two games each week as well. The first game is trying to correctly predict the length of the next Divas match to the second. The other game is coming up with new and humorous nicknames for David Otunga revolving around a specific part of his character or attire from that week.

This game has produced such wonderful nicknames as the Macchiato Mauler, The Sweater-vest Savior, The Bow-tie Brawler, The Caffeinated Crippler and my personal favorite, the Folger's Soldier. I changed it up tonight so we are doing nicknames for Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. See specific rules within the list.

I try and interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the 151 things we learned, loved and hated from the show.

1. The show opens with all the WWE superstars backstage.
2. The camera pans to John Laurinaitis, who discusses his new role as GM of both shows.
3. He makes a match where Santino will defend his title against both Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger.
4. CM Punk stands up and says that JL is still a giant tool box.
5. Easy guys, it wasn't that funny.
6. JL makes a match between Punk and Mark Henry for the WWE Title for later tonight.
7. He welcomes us to the era of people power, whatever that means.
8. The Rock's music hits and he comes out to a huge pop.
9. Given what happened last night, this should be interesting.
10. Sometimes I think the Rock makes the crowd chant too much. It takes forever for this guy to speak sometimes.
11. Hey Audience, its only a two-hour show, let the man speak.
12. The Rock says he has to thank John Cena,
13. He says Cena brought it to the Rock like never before.
14. Just to clarify, we can say asses on TV and not Christ. Got it.
15. HAHA, he brings up being cut from the CFL.
16. I bet a lot of Canadian football fans are pissed off right now.
17. Wait, are there Canadian football fans?
18. The Rock says this is not the end, it is the beginning.
19. To what? A three-picture deal?
20. I have to admit that he did look great in that match last night. The Rock clearly busted his ass to get back into good form in the ring.
21. Classy Rock. Are you saying all Cena fans are gay? GLAAD will be all over him for that one.
22. OK, that last one came out wrong.
23. That's what she said.
24. OK, my 5-year-old self is gone now, back to the show.
25. The Rock says he has a vision that he will one day walk down that aisle as WWE Champion.

26. Is this indicating a mini-run? If so, I am all for it.
27. Prove your critics wrong by coming back for an extended run, Rocky.
28. I am more curious to hear what Cena has to say after last night.
29. What's with the creepy music they played while hyping Cena's promo for later? It sounded like a demented Jack-in-the-box tune.
30. Santino is out next for his title defense against Ziggler and Swagger.
31. Vickie gets some good heat when she comes out, but she still does not seem to draw heat the way she used to when she was aligned with Edge.
32. Speaking of Edge, how awesome was that Hall of Fame ceremony?
33. I've got a new nickname for Ziggler. The Magenta Mauler.
34. Swagger is now the Aqua American.
35. You know, we have been doing nicknames for David Otunga for a long time, and while you guys always have great stuff, I think it is time to switch it up. If you have any nicknames for Ziggler based around his new obsession with pink or Swagger based around his aqua singlet, leave them below.
36. Swagger is in control when we got to commercial.
37. Swagger and Ziggler are working together, but as soon as one goes for a pin, it will be every man for himself.
38. And there it is. Swagger gave Ziggler a belly-to-belly when they have an argument.
39. Santino comes back and starts taking it to both men.
40. Swagger falls to the Cobra and Santino retains the US Title.
41. When Swagger and Ziggler chase Santino up the ramp, Brodus Clay appears to make the save.
42. Ziggler tries to charge him but Clay headbutts him right out of the air.
43. A Funkasaurus chant breaks out and Clay's music hits to start a celebration.
44. At least there are no Mama dancers tonight.
45. After the break, we get the first appearance from Lord Tensai, who is just Albert from several years ago.
46. This guy has been making a name for himself in Japan, so it will be interesting to see his in-ring style these days.
47. I am getting flashbacks to The Sultan from the mid-'90s for some reason. Why did anyone think Rikishi should play someone from the Middle East?
48. Whoa, Riley getting a match on Raw is rare.
49. Tensai is dominating Riley decisively.
50. The ref stops the match when Riley can no longer continue, and Tensai wins.

51. Nice. He uses the Claw on Riley after the match is over. I haven't seen that move in a WWE ring in years.
52. I like the picture slideshows WWE has been doing from WrestleMania after the commercials breaks. They capture some of the highlights very well.
53. Punk is out next to face Henry for the WWE title.
54. Punk starts off strong with strikes, but Henry soon gains control when he swats away a dropkick.
55. Henry screaming "I own you" at Punk makes me laugh for some reason.
56. Henry starts demolishing Punk.
57. "You move when I tell you you can move! Get up!" Classic,
58. Punk breaks free of a bear-hug with a DDT to Henry.
59. Punk takes Henry down with a running knee, but can't get the pin.
60. I am really liking this match between Punk and Henry. It is well-paced and has some good back and forth.
61. Punk avoids a Vader-style corner splash from Henry, but springboards right into a huge clothesline.
62. If Henry wins the strap, I will be a little shocked.
63. After the break, we see that Henry is still firmly in control.
64. Punk comes back with a series of shots to Henry and he climbs the ropes to hit the Macho Man elbow.
65. He hits the elbow but grabs his back as if he hurt himself in the process.
66. Punk hits his high knee, but cannot follow it up.
67. He hits a second, but Henry picks him up in the middle of the Bulldog and chucks him over the top rope.
68. Punk can't make it back in the ring and Henry wins by countout, but does not win the title.
69. He is pissed that he doesn't get the belt and he goes after Punk and delivers a World's Strongest Slam on the floor.
70. I think a "We want Lesnar" chant just broke out.
71. JL comes out and says Punk is going to be defending his title on a consistent basis, so the fans get more excitement.
72. Jericho is in the crowd and he starts talking about what just happened to CM Punk.
73. Jericho wants to celebrate their great match with a drink.
74. He grabs a bottle of liquor and says he will be the reason Punk takes his first drink.
75. Punk is still laid out on the outside as Jericho douses him in alcohol. It's funny how R-Truth did almost the same thing a while back and he got cheered for it just because he was the face and Punk was the heel.

76. Haha, Jericho slips in the booze when he goes to kick Punk in the head.
77. Y2J goes and grabs a second bottle from the timekeepers area.
78. He smashes the second bottle of alcohol right into the back of Punk's head. You could see that the bottle was meant to break and actually came apart right before he hit Punk with it.
79. That was a crazy segment.
80. It was probably iced tea in the bottles since that's what they use on most TV shows to mimic whiskey.
81. New World Champion Sheamus comes out after the break to talk about his title win, but he is immediately interrupted by Alberto Del Rio.
82. I have been wondering how they would bring him back.
83. Ricardo Rodriguez just broke some kind of record with that intro. That was the longest "Alberto" I have ever heard him do before.
84. Michael Cole points out that these are the last two Rumble winners in the ring together.
85. Del Rio talks about challenging for the title next.
86. Does Daniel Bryan not get a rematch?
87. A "Si" chant breaks out for a second time.
88. Sheamus is getting booed a little bit. I wonder if the heavy Florida population of Latinos is making the difference tonight.
89. Del Rio says JL gave him a match against Sheamus for SmackDown and if he wins, he gets a title shot.
90. Del Rio's mic cuts out for a second.
91. It happens again, and now I am thinking this is not a real technical issue.
92. Sheamus takes advantage of the issue and hits the Brogue Kick on Del Rio to end the segment.
93. Was that real or planned? Why have the mic cut out just so Sheamus can give him a cheap shot?
94. Daniel Bryan and AJ are shown watching backstage. Bryan turns around to Josh Mathews.
95. Mathews asks Bryan how the loss in 18 seconds felt.
96. Bryan just stares him down and Mathews walks away.
97. WWE does another slideshow before commercial and MGK got a huge boo from the crowd.
98. Are they playing this throughout the commercials on the Titantron in the arena? If so then that is a good idea just so there is no down time in between segments.
99. Cody Rhodes is out after the break for a match in his Christopher Daniels jacket.
100. Kofi is his opponent for tonight.

101. Ha, Kofi vs. Cody. Rhyming is fun, no wonder rappers love it so much.
102. Rhodes hits a Disaster Kick early on but does not go for the cover.
103. Big Show's music hits and he appears on the stage.
104. He shows his own clip to Rhodes after all the abuse he took at the hands of Rhodes over the last few weeks.
105. Rhodes turns into a Trouble in Paradise and Kofi wins the match.
106. Kofi needs more than the happy-go-lucky babyface gimmick to really get places in WWE.
107. So, whats the actual plot of G.I. Joe 2? The trailer they showed tells me nothing.
108. Holy Crap! It's Abraham Washington.
109. He is talking to Henry and he is basically offering his managerial services to Henry.
110. I like it. WWE needs more managers, but Henry is not in need of a mouthpiece. He is decent on the mic all on his own.
111. Washington should be managing guys like Hennig, Slater, Reks, Hawkins, Kidd and Gabriel. Low card guys who can't talk well on the mic right now but have potential in the ring.
112. Eve is out next to some decent heat. Any reaction for a Diva is a good reaction, right?
113. A Hoeski chant starts up before she can speak.
114. She talks about screwing over Ryder and Team Teddy last night with her distraction.
115. "We want Ryder Woo Woo Woo!
116. Eve says the only man she can't manipulate is John Laurinaitis.
117. Eve is very unlikable in this character, which means she is doing everything right.
118. Whoa. This movie The Raid: Redemption looks awesome. I love Kung-Fu movies, or movies featuring other countries' martial-arts styles. Watch Ong Bak 1, 2 and 3. You won't regret it.
119. Ryder vs. The Miz is next and these are the two men who ended the match last night at WrestleMania.
120. Lawler says Cena has just arrived at the arena. Like we will believe he hasn't been there since this afternoon.
121. Ryder's tights feature something akin to a pattern that looks like paint has been dropped on it in random places. I remember Bret Hart doing something similar back in the day.
122. Miz wins a short match with the Skull Crushing Finale.
123. Miz yells "I'm back baby!
124. Why would someone make a sign that says "BOOM CAPITALISM?"
125. Cena's music hits to some pretty loud boos from the crowd.

126. He comes out and he is all business.
127. He starts by saying he never thought he would lose.
128. Cena says he talked a big game, but he won't make excuses.
129. The crowd starts chanting "You're a loser!"
130. The crowd eggs Cena on to turn heel.
131. Cena says it won't happen and they boo.
132. Remember the good ole days when you would cheer the good guy and boo the bad guy?
133. Cena apologizes to anyone he let down.
134. He is basically just doing his "I will do what I can" stuff.
135. He says he won't call out The Rock and the issue is settled.
136. Another "We want Lesnar" chant breaks out. Cena says it was interesting.
137. Cena invites The Rock to come back to the ring so he can pay respect to him.
138. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU RESPECT HIM!
139. Cena says that The Rock is the greatest WWE superstar in history.
140. Ha, Cena chants "Yes" with the crowd and then says Daniel Bryan owes him one. The crowd loves it and a Daniel Bryan chant breaks out right away.
141. And the crowd gets their wish as Lesnar comes out.
142. I am not as pumped as I thought I would be when I first saw him come back to WWE. Still cool, though.
143. Brock does some posturing on the stage before heading to the ring.
144. Will he talk or will he just F5 Cena and leave?
145. A "Holy S$%&" chant breaks out, which WWE did not censor.
146. Cena is clapping as Brock enters the ring. Interesting.
147. Brock goes to shake Cena's hand, but gives him an F5 instead.
148. I know it's what the crowd wanted, but just the fact that they kept chanting it ahead of time made it a lot less surprising.
149. This was a better than average Raw in my opinion.
150. Lesnar's return is sure to cause a firestorm of articles by tomorrow morning.
151. Since there was no Divas match tonight, you can leave you predictions for any Divas match on SmackDown below. I could not find any accurate predictions for the WrestleMania Divas match, but if you guessed 6:49 and I missed it let me know which article it is on, and I will give you a shout-out on Friday's recap.

Thanks for reading and feel free to share your thoughts and additions to the list below. Also, please take a moment and make your prediction for the length of the next Divas match as well as your nickname for Dolph Ziggler and/or Jack Swagger.