Wrestlemania 28 Review: A Match by Match Report Card

Wrestlemania 28 in Miami, Florida has finally happened. This event was a year in the making, and the results answer the question: was it worth the wait? Following is a report card of the event. Highlights of each match are addressed.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus: At the opening of the match, Bryan kissed his girlfriend, perhaps for “good luck.” So much for that. Sheamus immediately gave him a brogue kick and got the pin in a record 18 seconds.  So I guess they thought we didn’t want to see the match.  F-

Kane vs. Randy Orton: Clad with a few spots, Kane gave Orton a choke slam from the second rope for the win. B-

Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes: Big Show won with a knock-out punch…the greatest wrestling hold in the history of wrestling. While I’m not a fan of his finishing move, I like his warmth; he’s a big teddy bear, so I am happy that he won the IC title. C

Beth Phoenix and Eve vs. Kelly Kelly and Maria Maneunos: As expected, something absolutely unrealistic occurred. Maria Maneunos, perhaps a bit over 92 pounds, rolled up muscular, toned athlete Beth Phoenix for the win. Prior to that, Kelly Kelly performed a number of totally contrived moves, minus a really cool somersault off of the top rope onto Beth Phoenix. I am sick to death of the women’s division! I guess I will have to wait another year for the WWE to actually take the women seriously on the “grandest stage of them all.” D-

HHH vs Taker w/Shawn (as Ref): ‘Taker removed his hood, revealing a new look—a low-cut mohawk. After a long-fought, back-and-forth battle and lots of pleas and melodrama, he defeated HHH. Shawn was very involved—perhaps a bit too involved. I knew he possessed stellar in-ring  talent but was not aware of his flare for the dramatic. Interestingly, Hunter could not walk out but was helped out by Shawn and ‘Taker. He was not, however, taken out on a stretcher, something that I would have preferred, considering last year’s showcase of his “diabolical decimation” of ‘Taker. A little payback, perhaps…well, maybe next time.  C+

Team Teddy vs. Team Laurinaitis: Team Laurinaitis won after Eve’s involvement caused Zack Ryder to get a face plant from The Miz. This should lead to some interesting future storylines. C

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho: This was a very good match: solid, with lots of twists and turns at the end. In the end, CM Punk retained the title by causing Jericho to tap out to the anaconda vice. On a side note, CM Punk’s hair managed to keep a perfect hold until about half-way through the match. A-

Brodus Clay Skit: Brodus Clay needed to “call his Momma.” However, she was in attendance–her, alongside her entire bridge club. They, in their “Big Momma” get-up, treated the fans to a choreographed dance to Clay’s entrance theme. +1 bonus point for an entertaining segment.

The Rock vs. John Cena: Both wrestlers had a “special” entrance.  For the first time in a VERY long time, Cena entered the ring first. However, the rapper performing for the Cena entrance made Cena’s “situation” with the fans worse. Cena’s representative made the comment, “One of the biggest egos in the business is gonna get beaten by the biggest underdog in the business.” Needless to say, the Miami (and thus, VERY pro-Rock) crowd did not take kindly to the diss to their hometown hero. Rancid boos rained throughout the arena, and Cena made his entrance.  Much to the delight of myself and my siblings, (and the chagrin of my 6-year-old niece), the Rock won! I am still in shock—not that I didn’t think the Rock could win, but I expected Super Cena to continue to be pushed down my throat. At least on this night, WWE got a clue! Go Rocky! B-

Extra credit: The Rock defeated John Cena (+5); the Undertaker defeated HHH (+3); Edge and Ron Simmons were inducted into HOF (+5)

Points taken off: Divas match (-3); the 18 seconds it took to trash Daniel Bryan (-3)

Bonus points: Brodus Clay segment (+1)

Final Grade: B-