'Dem Apples: Taking a Bite Out of the NFL Draft

For starters, Mel Kiper and Sean Salisbury need to find jobs that don't involve being on TV. Those two clowns hate to be wrong—and they love to tell you about it.

But they're not important today. What matters is how the draft panned out, and all the juicy subplots that developed along the way:

Brady Quinn Plays the Waiting Game

 

Everyone thought the top three picks would be JaMarcus Russell, Calvin Johnson, and Brady Quinn.

 

They were almost right.

 

Russell and Johnson went one and two—but Quinn had to wait until late in the first round to get his call. As it stands, he's going to Cleveland, and he isn't complaining. Neither are the Browns. By drafting Joe Thomas and controversial D-back Eric Wright, they gave Quinn exactly what he wanted: a first-class ticket back home to Ohio...and the goods to back him up in September.

 

 

From Brawlers to Ballers

 

Despite their role in one of the most talked-about brawls in college football history, the Miami Hurricanes had two of their defensive stars drafted back-to-back—New England took Brandon Meriweather, Carolina took Jon Beason.

 

The 'Canes already knew that they were in trouble after last year's fiasco, but Meriweather and Beason better realize that if they act like Cincinnati Bengals, they'll be on Pacman Jones' couch before the season is over.

 

 

Detroit Rocks-And It Isn't Good

 

Going into this draft, everyone knew Detroit needed a quarterback. Which begs the question: Why did the Lions use their top pick on a wideout for the fourth time in five years?

Is Mike Martz off his rocker or what? Detroit needed (I repeat, needed) a quarterback. They had a shot but went with Calvin Johnson—who's a great player, but come on! If the Lions want to make good on their promise for a fresh new start, they'd better hope Drew Stanton is up to the task.

If he's not, expect plenty of paper bags at Ford Field in the fall. 

Defense Wins Championships

 

Baltimore won their Super Bowl with defense, and Indy followed suit last season. Denver and St. Louis were paying attention.

 

The Broncos (Marcus Thomas, Jarvis Moss, and Tim Crowder) and Rams (Adam Carriker, Jonathan Wade, Clifton Ryan, and Keith Jackson) went heavy on D this weekend. With the added help, Denver looks to challenge San Diego in the AFC West. As for St. Louis—the Rams have a strong shot at the NFC West title. 

No Love For the Heisman

When the first round was over, the two QBs from the BCS National Championship Game were still on the board. 

Despite their needs under center, Miami, Kansas City, and Detroit all passed on Ohio State's Troy Smith and Florida's Chris Leak. Smith, who was happy just to get picked, finally got the call from Baltimore. Leak's phone never rang—but you can bet he'll be in the league next season.

Surprises

Here's the million dollar question: Why did the Miami Dolphins opt for Ted Ginn Jr. over Brady Quinn? Ginn is a good choice, no question about that. The Dolphins need a guy who can return kicks and run crisp routes...but considering their quarterback problems in recent years, why not go after Quinn?

The Niners selected Patrick Willis from Ole Miss, who was considered the best linebacker in the draft. Then they gave up a 2008 first-rounder to grab Central Michigan's Joe Staley. Don't feel bad about losing that pick, Niners fans. Your boys plan to win this year. They knew they had to work on their needs—no matter what the cost.

Brown-Nosed Patriots

Everyone gave the Pats an "A" for their draft selections—but I've got a different grade for the team that everyone picks to win it all...every single year.

New England can't possibly believe that Tom Brady is going to be their quarterback forever. Why not grab a rookie to back him up? The Patriots are starting to look more like the Bengals—they picked Meriweather, who infamously stomped a Florida International player during last year's brawl, and fellow fisty Hurricane Kareem Brown. Then they made matters worse by grabbing the resident NFL bad boy Randy Moss.

And still—an "A"? Not according to this writer. I've got them between a B- and a C+...and I'm leaning south.

So that's the story from the weekend. Hope everyone's happy with their work—because final report cards come out in a few months. See ya at training camp...