Puppy Bowl 2012: Why the Ridiculous Event Isn't Worth Watching

Eric BowmanFeatured ColumnistFebruary 5, 2012

If you'd like to waste two hours of your life this afternoon, then I suggest you tune into the 2012 Puppy Bowl at 3 P.M. on Animal Planet. 

There's a couple things that blow my mind about this big event. The first is the fact that this is the eighth edition of the Puppy Bowl—meaning people actually like it enough for it to continue happening. My guess is that it's mostly women and children, and there's nothing wrong with that. 

The second is how any real man can sit down and watch more than one minute of the Puppy Bowl. Look, don't get me wrong. I like puppies; they're cute. But today is Super Bowl Sunday, and the focus should be on getting right and ready for the festivities that will commence later in the evening. 

Even if you're not hosting a Super Bowl party, there are still plenty of other things to do to make use of your time. Watching the 2012 Puppy Bowl should not be one of them. 

All you will see are little puppies running around and playing in what happens to be a makeshift, miniature football field. If you really want to watch puppies play, go to your local pet store. After all, the real thing is much better. Just make sure you don't end up taking one home.

What you ought to be doing during this preposterous event is getting food and drinks for whatever Super Bowl party you attend. If you were instructed not to bring anything but your beautiful face, I suggest you take the two hours of the Puppy Bowl and work out. 

Let's face it. You know you're going to be stuffing your face with wings, nachos, chips, any type of miniature food and whatever dessert you can get your hands on. Plus, there are the copious amounts of drinks you're likely to consume. 

Hit the gym, or run some laps around the neighborhood. Trust me on this one. You'll feel much better in doing so, and who knows, you might not end up eating so much if you do work out during the day.

The Puppy Bowl is not worthy watching intensely unless you plan on making a drinking game out of it, which would honestly be a horrible decision too. You'd most likely pass out by halftime and ruin the part of the night that actually matters: Super Bowl XLVI.

So therefore, just don't watch it all. 

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