Royal Rumble 2012: Minute by Minute Diary of One Exciting Rumble Match

About a week ago, I decided that I was going to log my thoughts into a diary during this year's Royal Rumble Match and then post it to Bleacher Report. Granted, this wasn't the most simple task when WWE Superstars are running into the ring every 90 seconds, but I think it came out pretty good.

I apologize if I wasn't able to get every elimination mentioned and every great spot but there's only so much typing I can do while trying to focus on the event. Anyways, keep reading and enjoy:

9:41 PM: To recap the night so far: CM Punk just retained the WWE Championship, Daniel Bryan won in a lackluster cage match to retain the World Heavyweight Championship, John Cena refused to embrace the hate, the Divas bored us to tears and, for some reason, the WWE felt the need to bury Drew McIntyre some more. Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler was a great match but hopefully it won’t be the match of the night. It’s time for the Rumble!

9:47 PM: AWESOME! Here comes The Miz at No. 1. I’m betting that he is one of the last five Superstars in the ring. Let’s see how long Alex Riley lasts at No. 2. 

9:52 PM: Remember when Riley wasn’t consistently buried by the WWE? Oh well, 29 more possible winners.

9:53 PM: The "Truth" has set me free! That No. 1 Entrant Match on Raw Monday really didn’t mean too much did it?

9:56 PM: Cody Rhodes came in and hit a Beautiful Disaster and then nearly got eliminated. Now Justin Gabriel has entered the scene and started out with some high-flying moves. Great start to the rumble!

9:58 PM: Not R-Truth! I’m sure we’ll see him in the Money in the Bank match at WrestleMania. And here’s Mick Foley!

10:00 PM: Foley eliminated Epico. Awesome. And Miz is still out of the ring after going under the ropes.

10:01 PM: The "Mexican Aristocrat" has returned after a month of being injured. Oh wait, it's just Ricardo Rodriguez. I guess Del Rio isn’t ready to come back and I really hope Ricardo doesn’t last.

10:04 PM: Mr. Socko and the Cobra team up to take out Epico quickly and then clash in the ring for a hilarious moment. Ricardo and Gabriel are both out.

10:06 PM: Kofi Kingston has arrived! I really hope this guy gets better luck in the rest of 2011 after this crap with Evan Bourne. He deserves better. Miz and Rhodes, ending any more comedy in this match, took out Santino and Foley.

10:09 PM: Jerry "The King" Lawler arrived … and "The King" departed.

10:10 PM: Five, four, three, two, one: Jinder Mahal at number 14. Ezekiel Jackson was 13. Jackson will be gone in the next five minutes. Mahal might have a little longer.

10:12 PM: I thought The Great Khali was out of the WWE! Goodbye, Mahal and Jackson! It’s actually refreshing to see the big man after so long.

10:15 PM: Suckaaaaa! Let’s see if Booker T gets rid of Rhodes for some redemption. I would also like to say that Hunico riding down on the bike is hilarious.

10:16 PM: Who needs John Morrison?! Kofi’s handstand was perfect. What did I just say about this guy? I quote my roommate: “That was ridonculous.”

10:18 PM: The first Rumble winner! Hacksaw Jim Duggan is howling like an animal and it’s awesome, but Rhodes got rid of him so that’s that. Ziggler has also arrived on the scene.

10:20 PM: Well this doubly sucks. Booker’s gone and Michael Cole is in. Expletive.

10:22 PM: I would say that we have our third female Rumble contestant ever but I’m really not sure if she’s a female. Kharma’s back to save the divas and she dominated Ziggler with her finisher. Goodbye, Cole. Goodbye, Hunico and goodbye, Kharma. Ziggler has redeemed himself after his great sell of Kharma’s hit.

10:24 PM: Road Dogg! Look at him shimmy! Sheamus is here and eliminated Kofi, unfortunately, but at least Kofi had his moment.

10:29 PM: Wade Barrett at number 26! This is looking really good. Road Dogg is officially eliminated. Waiting on Randy Orton and Chris Jericho.

10:31 PM: We officially have Ziggler, Rhodes, Miz, Barrett, Sheamus, David Otunga and Jack Swagger. Real good crowd. Maybe if you exclude Otunga and Swagger.

10:33 PM: Here comes Orton and it;s carnage! Jey Uso eliminated! And Barrettls GONE! RKO! Unbelievable. For all the hype Barrett got, I’m really surprised to see him go so quickly. I’m guessing we haven’t seen the end of this feud.

10:34 PM: Lights off. Here comes Y2J!! Goodbye, Otunga! He is officially back. Let's go!

10:36 PM: I’ll bet a gajillion dollars that Big Show does not win. Goodbye, Swagger. Everyone is officially in and there goes Miz, Rhodes and Dolph! The final four is Orton, Jericho, Show and Sheamus.

10:38 PM: Show chokeslammed Jericho. RKO to Show and someone owes me a gajillion dollars. Orton is eliminated! Wow, I’d be pissed if I was from St. Louis. Jericho and Sheamus remain. This is intense but we all know Jericho is going to win.

10:40 PM: Jericho was mad close to being thrown over. Sheamus was almost eliminated. This is nuts.

10:42 PM: The Walls! Maybe he’ll magically go from the ground to over the top but man is it nice to see that move again.

10:44 PM: Jericho pulled a real Shawn Michaels and should be very happy that he isn’t two inches taller.

10:45 PM: Codebreaker and in one of the funnier things I’ve seen in a while, he went for the cover.

10:46 PM: Sheamus wins! I really thought Jericho was going to dodge the Brogue Kick, sending him over the ropes and I’m truly shocked that Jericho didn’t win after all the hype for his return. I expect big things out of Jericho over the next few weeks.

10:56 PM:

In the aftermath of a good Rumble Match, my roommate is not very happy. Two RKO’s out of Orton wasn’t good enough for him and the world didn’t end, which I know that he would have loved to see happen.

As much as I would have loved to see Jericho get his first Rumble win, I’m actually happier that Sheamus won. He simply deserved it more. Sheamus has been on a roll since turning face this summer and this is exactly what he needed to get back into the World Title picture. 

Who will he face? Maybe Daniel Bryan, if he can hold onto the title. I would love if Barrett or Henry was able to win the title at Elimination Chamber and face Sheamus at WrestleMania. Then maybe Orton can find his way into the match also, making it a triple threat.

There are many possibilities and having Sheamus in a title match is better than having him in the rumored Money in the Bank match. Sheamus will be World Heavyweight Champion on April 1.

As for Jericho, there are two directions that he can go from here. Either he can try to defeat the Undertaker and end his streak or he can make a case for the WWE Championship, which I would think is the better and more likely route. Punk vs. Jericho for the Championship would make a GREAT match at WrestleMania and could easily steal the show. 

Until then, hopefully Jericho can shed some light on what the end of the world was supposed to be and then maybe he could reveal who “she” is, if “she” is actually a person and not some lame metaphor.

In the end, it was a great night in the WWE. I would’ve loved to see the hate come out in Cena after the awesome Tombstone to Ryder but hopefully that comes in the next couple of weeks. Big hopes.

Congrats to Sheamus on securing his place in the main event of WrestleMania!