The Doctor's Weekly WWE Raw Recap: The 123 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The first Raw of 2012, in my opinion, did not live up to expectations. The much-hyped return of a mystery superstar ended up being Chris Jericho, who came out, took in the ovation and left without a word.

Brodus Clay was once again delayed in his debut on Raw, leaving me wondering if he will ever debut at all.

Kane and Cena continued their feud as Kane came through the ring and tried to pull Ryder back with him.

Ziggler won his WWE title match against CM Punk by countout after a small interference by Laurinaitis. Ziggler did not win the title, but he took the belt with him into the crowd after the match.

For those of you who are new to my weekly recaps, these lists are equal parts humor, recap, reflections, reactions, questions, things that were good and things that were not so good.

I write these during the show so sometimes the tenses are off. I hope you enjoy the 123 things we learned, loved and hated from this week's Raw.

1. John Cena opens up the show and wishes us all a happy new year
2. He gets some "You Suck" chants right off the bat
3. John Cena says he is going to make some changes to himself in 2012
4. First resolution, wear less underwear
5. Just wear them under your wrestling gear and we're all good
6. Cena has banned his own father from WWE TV
7. Third resolution, prove to the Rock that he has lost his lady parts
8. Unless he grew back man parts I don't know what to call him now
9. Cena says he will stay true to who he is
10. Kanes music hits and he interrupts the party
11. Kane is talking off camera about Cena embracing the hate
12. His pyro goes off around the ring and scares Cena
13. Daniel Bryan is in the ring after the commercial
14. Out next is Cody Rhodes
15. This should be a good match
16. Cody and Danny have some good back and forth before Rhodes gets the first near fall
17. Cody is working Bryan's arm pretty hard
18. Cody is stealing one of his brother's moves these days
19. Cody hits beautiful disaster for a two count
20. According to Cole Daniel Bryan has a dog named asparagus
21. Bryan rolls up Cody for a quick pin and the win
22. Bryan is running around the ring yelling "Heavyweight Champion"
23. Why is WWE still trying to convince us that hitting someone with an open water bottle will hurt?
24. Johnny Ace says he thinks Truth was unprofessional, but reminds Miz about why he was attacked
25. Miz pretends he does not remember doing that, for some reason that really made me laugh

26. Miz gets to face Sheamus later on
27. Miz says he will be a sitting duck
28. WTF, as Miz walks away Truth walks in, quacks, then walks out. This is stranger than him in a confederate uniform
29. I guess Truth will be attacking Miz later in the show
30. We get a rewind to the 88 Rumble
31. Jim Duggan was awesome
32. Barrett is out for the next match
33. His shirt reminds me of a shirt HBK had in the '90s, am I the only one seeing this?
34. Barrett is bragging about taking out Orton
35. Santino interrupts Barrett talking about the Rumble
36. I guess this is the next match
37. Santino vowed to lose 20 lbs this year, I think that is why he is doing laps around the ring
38. Marella reminds us he was runner up in last year's Rumble
30. Was anyone else hoping he was going to win while that was happening last year?
31. Barrett is using his version of the Black Hole Slam as his finisher
32. The name of it is The Winds of Change, after his promo about wind during and NXT competition
33. The Bellas are arguing about something
34. They joke to Miz about having seen Little Jimmy
35. Truth is stalking Miz tonight
36. Bayou Billionaires and Redneck Vacation? Television really has entered a new golden age
37. Batista is in Scorpion King 3; probably won't see that one
38. Sheamus is out for the next match, this is the third match in the first hour, good way to start the year
39. Miz enters as he continues to watch his back
40. Miz attacks Sheamus early, before the bell in fact
41. Miz wraps up sheamus in the ropes and keeps pounding on him
42. Sheamus comes back and pounds Miz about twenty times in the chest
43. Truth is taunting Miz over the mic
44. Truth is in the crowd with Little Jimmy, Jimmy don't like the Miz
45. Miz tries to run away but gets hit with a brogue kick
46. Truth grabs another damn water bottle and hits Miz with it, I hope he is OK
47. Truth gives some kid the mic and he says "Happy New Year Miz"
48. That kid looked so frozen for about three seconds, must not have been a planned thing
49. 48 minutes down, still no Brodus Clay or answer to the 2012 videos My money is one Clay getting shafted again

50. I think it would be great if we got to see Ziggler win the WWE title tonight
51. Ziggler just said "If you got it, flaunt it", the motto of every stripper
52. Looks like they are going with a romance angle with Ryder and Eve
53. Swagger says Ryder should not be US Champion
54. Ryder just made a really bad joke
55. Laurinaitis just made a six man match with Swagger, Henry and Kane vs Ryder, Big Show and Cena
56. I wonder if the person returning tonight will come out during the WWE title match, they claim to have come back to claim something, odds are good it's the WWE title
57. Cm Punk is out first for the WWE title match
58. Am I the only one who thinks it is strange that the Champion came out first?
59. Ziggler and vickie come out next
60. I have noticed a much lower amount of twitter talk tonight, this is a step in the right direction
61. A Punk chant breaks out right away
62. Lots of mat wrestling in the early minutes of the match
63. These guys have a lot of pressure to perform tonight to prove good wrestling should take priority over good acting
64. Punk hits five running leg drops for a two count
65. Punk just hit the rope face first, looked like it really hurt
66. Ziggler cuts off a suicide dive attempt and then drops Punk out of the ring in a nice combo to reverse the momentum
67. This is a good match but it could be better, hopefully after this commercial they pull out some cool stuff
68. Ziggler hits a Fameasser for a close two-count
69. Punk lands face first from that inverted slam Ziggler performed
70. He is gonna come away from this match with some war wounds
71. Its Clobberin Time!
72. Johnny Ace comes out and distracts the ref with a removed turnbuckle
73. Punk gets Ziggler to tap but the ref didn't see it
74. Ziggler runs into Laurintaitis, Punk goes for the GTS, Ziggler breaks free and shoves Punk who goes over a rope held down by Laurinaitis
75. Ziggler wins by countout

76. Punk retains, but he looks pissed
77. Ziggler grabs the WWE title and goes into the crowd with it
78. Punk chases him but he does not give back the belt, Ziggler is not Champion so I wonder if this is a stolen belt storyline
79. One last three second video plays for the returning superstar,  "He is Here"
80. Where the hell is Brodus Clay?!
81. The Bellas are wearing some...Interesting outfits
82. Eve and Kelly are their opponents for this token Divas match,
83. Where is Kharma when you need her?
84. Kelly and Eve's orange attires match their fake and bake skin tones
85. Eve is going to break her ankles if she does not learn how to land that moonsault properly
86. The Bellas pull a fast switch and win the match
87. No Pinup Strong this week?
88. Otunga's coffee mug matches his purple vest
89. Punk bursts in and blames Laurinaitis for losing the match
90. JL says Punk should be mad at Ziggler, not him
91. Punk says "If you screw me out of the title at the Rumble I will be in jail for animal cruelty because I will beat you like a bitch!"
92. Not sure that the kids will realize bitch means female dog, or will they, I don't have kids so I can't ask anyone
93. Borderline on the TV-PG though
94. This Cheetos commercial in a mattress store is kind of dumb but it makes me laugh
95. Donate to the Wounder Warrior Foundation
96. Another cryptic video plays as we are probably going to see who is returning
97. And the mystery man is...Chris Jericho
98. He gets a huge pop as he comes out in skinny jeans and a light up jacket
99. Everyone saw this coming, But I commend Jericho for doing a good job of denying this for weeks
100. Jericho is really soaking this ovation in

101. He looks really happy as he eggs the crowd on to keep cheering, they respond by chanting "Welcom Back"
102. The right sleeve on his jacket burnt out
103. Y2J trends worldwide before he really says much of anything
104. I hate Twitter but that is kind of an insight into his popularity
105. I kind of hope he pulls a Pillman and just goes heel promo on everyone
106. OK, now this is going on a little too long
107. He walks out without so much as an explanation
108. What a rip off
109. The 6 man tag match is next
110. Remember when there were reports of Ryder signs being confiscated, now they litter the audience with them
111. Kanes music hits but he does not come out
112. Otunga comes out and tells the ref that Kane will not participate in the match
113. Now it's 2-on-3 in favor of the babyfaces, kind of strange for and elimination match
114. Unless the end of the show has some big surprise this did not live up to my expectations for the first Raw of 2012
115. How long will Henry keep taping his boot?
116. Henry and Show get eliminated together outside the ring and Swagger is alone against Ryder and Cena
117. Cena hits the AA for the win, not much of a win given it was a handicap match
118. Kane's music hits again and Cena tries to cut him off in the entrance way
119. Kane comes up through the ring and attacks Cena, once again smothering him with his big hand
120. Kane grabs Ryder and drags him down into the hole in the ring
121. Cena saves him at the last second
122. What was a very interesting feud just got weird
123. Kind of a let down with Jericho's return and The end of the show segment

Please feel free to share your thoughts and additions to the list below.