Every NHL Team's Celebrity Counterpart

The National Hockey League is bigger than ever, becoming a dominant sports league once again in North America. As a tribute to the rising fame I have assembled quite a special list. 

Every team in the NHL has their own identity and I thought it would be amusing to pair each one with a celebrity counterpart.

It's all in good fun and probably completely out in left field.

Here is every NHL Team's celebrity counterpart listed in alphabetical order.

Anaheim Ducks: Macaulay Culkin

Old news. Way back when they were at the top of their game, but now that has all crumbled. Shadows of their once prominent self, both Culkin and the Ducks have sunk to the bottle of their respective power rankings.

This is a sad match. But a fitting one.  

Boston Bruins: Dana White

Now I know Dana White isn't a prototypical celebrity but the comparison is undeniable.

Tough, rugged exterior but extremely successful. The Boston Bruins and the UFC President have had a great 2011, earning lots of success in the sporting world.

Zach Galifianakis was my runner up because of his resemblance to Tim Thomas.  

Buffalo Sabres: Ryan Gosling

A great franchise and a great celebrity. Both have been stable contributors for some time now with the future looking brighter then ever. Buffalo under new ownership is a different team and look for Gosling to breakthrough in 2012 as he has many great films set to be released.   

And Ryan Gosling is Canadian and grew up in rural Ontario, which makes this very bias.

Calgary Flames: Joe Rogan

Hard-nosed team without an identity. Joe Rogan is all over the place. 'Fear Factor' host, comedian and UFC commentator. The two match perfectly.

The two fit because they both don't really have an identity other then being tough.

Carolina Hurricanes: Lindsay Lohan

In the past was so successful and promising. And then out of nowhere, the biggest collapse ever. Lindsay Lohan is a train wreck and the Canes aren't much behind as they are having a brutal campaign yet again. Changes will need to be made (coach has already been fired) or they are on the fast track to a lottery pick. 

Chicago Blackhawks: Tom Cruise

I don't know why, but I always think of Tom Cruise when it comes to Patrick Kane. 

Something about Risky Business makes me think of the Hawks. Again, this is Kane's fault.

Colorado Avalanche: Mariah Carey

Use to be so successful and fun to watch. Now, just an afterthought. Certainly is past the prime and now is just rowing along with no chance of anything greater. 

Columbus Blue Jackets: Michael Cera

Michael Cera is a one character actor and Columbus is a one player team. Simple as that. Can you name any other significant players on the Blue Jackets other than Rick Nash since their expansion? (If anyone brings up Carter... just don't, he doesn't count— he's done nothing so far for them)

Dallas Stars: Britney Spears

Great matchup. Both have had previous greatness, fell off the map randomly, but recently have experienced a resurgence. 

Oh, and both are broke. 

Detroit Red Wings: George Clooney

The best franchise in the league and maybe in all of sports. George Clooney is the perfect match. They both just always seem to be good. Year in and year out. Always. 

Edmonton Oilers: Jaden Smith

Young and talented. These two fit like Cinderella and her stupid slipper. They will be dominate forces in the not so distant future. 

Florida Panthers: Wiz Khalifa

This match-up is all about coming out of no where. Florida has always been a bottom dweller and has come out of no where this season. Wiz Khalifa stormed onto the music scene this past year and is now considered one of the best hip-hop artists in the world. Perfect match. 

L.A. Kings: Nicolas Cage

They both call L.A. home? I don't know, the Kings aren't a very defined team at the moment. 

The match is that they confuse me.  

Minnesota Wild: Nicki Minaj

Like with the Florida Panthers, Minnesota Wild have stormed onto the scene this year. They are playing good hockey. Nicki Minaj has also become a force this year, breaking into the upperclass of female artists and becoming the face of female hip-hop.  

Though, Minnesota doesn't have good assets.... in their farm system.  

Montreal Canadiens: Megan Fox

People love to watch them, but they aren't very talented. 

Nashville Predators: Justin Bieber

Let me explain this one. The reason for the match is because both are well coached. And this coaching is the reason for their success.

Usher took Justin Bieber under his wing and created the teen sensation. Barry Trotz runs the Preds, keeping a tight system and getting the most out of his players.

Get it? 

New Jersey Devils: Pierce Brosnan

Classic. Just hasn't done much of late.

New York Islanders: Chris Rock

The team is a joke. Chris Rock is a very funny man and he makes me laugh. And so do the Islanders. That's the match. The Islanders continue to be an embarrassment to pro sports. Why haven't they brought in some veterans to surround their young core? I don't get it. 

New York Rangers: George Steinbrenner/Brian Cashman

The New York Rangers have a tendency to throw big bucks around in free agency. They are built on the same morales as their baseball counterpart, the New York Yankees. Sather and Cashman play the same game. The issue here though is that the NHL has a salary cap and you can't make up for bad spending with more spending.

I just hate Glen Sather so very very much.

Ottawa Senators: Carrie Underwood

Gutty, right? I just had too.

Isn't there a ban of her music on Ottawa radio stations?

For those of you that haven't caught on, Carrie Underwood is disliked in the nation's capital. She was to blame for Mike Fisher leaving the Sens. And they loved him.

Sorry Ottawa, but I would leave you for that babe too.  

Philadelphia Flyers: Charlie Sheen

Paul Holmgren can do anything he wants with the team and still be atop the league, while Charlie Sheen can do just about anything and still be regarded as an amazing actor. The Flyers make big moves and Charlie Sheen parties mega-hard.

This is a big time matchup. The pairing works on several levels.

Phoenix Coyotes: Patrick J. Adams

Patrick Adams is an actor on a low budget show. What, you've never heard of him? Fits well with the Yotes. Does anyone really pay attention to this team? Is there anyone significant within the organization?

On a side note, Patrick Adams is a great actor and in a great show: "Suits". Check it out. 

Pittsburgh Penguins: Brad Pitt

The best of the best. Without a doubt always puts on a great performance and is in contention to win it all. Brad Pitt and the Pens are a match of perfection. 

San Jose Sharks: Mila Kunis

Always puts on a solid performance, but never is/will be the best. The sharks always finish near the top of the NHL, but never do anything in the playoffs. Mila Kunis is a bombshell and a great actress whose movies always do well, but she is still never considered with the big guns. 

St. Louis Blues: Michael Buble

The Blues are a dull team. They just don't get media attention like other franchises. They have some solid history (with the likes of Al MacInnis and ect), but overall just are dull. Thats all I really have to say. 

Buble is a hockey fan. So....yeah.

Tampa Bay Lightning: Donald Glover

Those of you who do not know who Donald Glover is have disappointed me greatly. He started his fame through Youtube with classic hits such as "Bro Rape" and now he is a well known comedic personality. He does stand-up, is an actor, and a rapper (Childish Gambino), you should really check him out. 

Tampa are an exciting team with a great defensive system and offensive explosion. I enjoy watching both. Thats my pair. 

Toronto Maple Leafs: Kim Kardashian

The Toronto Maple Leafs are without a doubt the most popular franchise in the NHL. Yet, they have done nothing to deserve it because they don't have any talent. And this popularity comes for no reason and basically all they do is embarrass themselves. 

Insert Kim Kardashian's name where applicable. She is a perfect match for the Leafs.  

Vancouver Canucks: Angelina Jolie

A powerhouse. Always going to do well and is atop the power rankings at all times. Angelina Jolie is the Vancouver Canucks of the celebrity world. 

Ps- my pick for the Stanley Cup Finals this year was Vancouver and Pittsburgh. It's a match! 

Washington Capitals: Sylvester Stallone

Full throttle. This is all about firepower. The Capitals are an action-packed team that are easily the most fun to watch in the league. 

The Washington Capitals are the Rambo of the NHL. 

Winnipeg Jets: Robert Pattinson

They suck at what they do but still probably have the loudest and most passionate fan base out there. And yes Winnipeg, I'm comparing you to tween girls. 

Conclusions

I hope this was as entertaining for you as it was for me. The match ups hold up pretty well as every NHL has their own unique identity. 

If you have any ideas of your own please share!