Terrell Owens: Shameless Plugs T.O. Should Do for Money

Terrell Owens is quickly running out of money, and he can't get back in the NFL. Luckily for him, he seems to be willing to say anything on camera. 

So as TMZ reported that Owens had to short-sale his Dallas condo due to financial problems, and he can't seem to get an NFL team into seeking his services, I am sure he is already trying to court endorsement deals.

TO has a shrinking window of relevancy. He has to act quickly. He should talk to the following companies.

8 Minute Abs

How has this not already happened? It seems like such a natural thing.

I can see the commercial already. It would open with a shot of TO shirtless in his driveway just finishing off a set of situps.

Owens: "Hi, do you want to have abs like this? Well all you need is eight minutes, this workout...and a driveway. The driveway is important. It doesn't have to be yours. It just has to be one you can work out in for eight minutes without getting shot. That's it. That's all you need to have abs like these."

Twix

Few players have ever needed a moment more than Terrell Owens. This would fit right in with Twix's current campaign.

The commercials could cut together a medley of Owens blowing up on the sidelines at coaches, blasting QBs in the press and doing one of his more ill-conceived touchdown celebrations. They could then show TO getting ready to repeat all those events, only shoving a Twix into his mouth instead.

Dance Dance Revolution

"You ever wonder how I learned to mimic Ray Lewis' and other moves for my super awesome touchdown celebrations?" Owens would ask the world after they showed the video attached to this slide.

"I spent hours training with Dance Dance Revolution."

"And don't think you've seen the last of fresh moves, either." The video would then cut to Terrell Owens mimicking the moves of Brittney Spears. "Oops, I'm going to do it again."

Jersey Shore

TO could promote Jersey Shore by appearing on an episode. That would quickly turn into a full-time job. He is a perfect for this show. He is likely a distant relative to The Situation.

Think about it. TO likes to get glammed up, his life is full of needless drama, he is constantly starting fights, he likes to publicly talk about his dating life, and he is always showing off his abs.

Prozac

"Hi, I'm Terrell Owens," Owens would tell the cameras while dressed in a cardigan standing on a cliff watching a sunset. "That was me falling apart in an interview from my emotional playing days. Man, was I a wreck.

"My emotions used to overwhelm me. In fact, I may or may not have tried to kill myself on two separate occasions.

"Those days are long gone, now that I have found the wonders of Prozac. Doctors tell me I should only take one a day, but I'm taking 10-12 a day right now and I feel great!"