Eddy Curry: 10 Fat Jokes We Can't Wait to Make Throughout NBA Training Camps

Matt JonesAnalyst IDecember 12, 2011

Eddy Curry: 10 Fat Jokes We Can't Wait to Make Throughout NBA Training Camps

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    The Miami Heat have signed former New York Knicks and Chicago Bulls center Eddy Curry to fill a big void that they had at that position last season.

    The team hopes that Curry can regain the form that he had early in his career and be a good defensive support to LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh.

    After spending time out of the league last season, his NBA comeback attempt should be applauded, and he deserves credit for the work he has done to earn his contract.

    At the same time, it is no secret that Curry has been one of the biggest players in the league during his career, and he currently weighs in around 300 pounds.

    While his presence will instantly make the Heat a bigger team and I wish him the best in his career, it is time for a bit of good-natured fun.

    Keep in mind that these are jokes and may or may not be things that will actually occur.

Stern Gets Involved

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    In a Chris Paul-like move, NBA Commissioner David Stern has requested that the Heat only start four players instead of five to try to ensure parity in the league.

    It is not because of the three All-Stars on the team—it is because Curry is so big that he takes the space of two players.

The End of the Big Three

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    With the addition of Eddy Curry, the Miami Heat can no longer be referred to as having "The Big Three."

    They must now be called "The Big Six."


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    Eddy Curry will have a clause in his contract that when the team scores more than 100 points that he does not have to be available for postgame interviews.

    This is so that he can be first in line at the local restaurant that offers free pizza, tacos or chalupas to fans when the team reaches that mark.


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    Eddy Curry is so big that even the Kardashian sisters are not interested in him.

    Kim is recently divorced and looking for her next athlete.

    Khloe may not be excited to move to Dallas, and it could be the end of Khloe and Lamar.

    If Curry slims down a bit, he may have a shot at being the next Mr. Kardashian.

The Fast Break

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    Curry is so big and slow that when the up-tempo Heat get out on the fast break, he may get called for a three-second violation on his way down the court trying to get out of the key after a rebound.


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    Eddy Curry isn't really fat, he is just a bit too short and needs to grow a couple of feet.

Pat Riley

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    With the signing of Eddy Curry, Heat President Pat Riley has already received permission from the NBA to exercise the amnesty clause on two players instead of one just to make room for him on the roster.

Supporting LeBron

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    Miami Heat All-Star LeBron James could not be happier to have Curry on the team and thinks he will be a great support to him.

    James, who had to eat his words last season about winning multiple titles, can now count on Curry to back him up and eat everything else.


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    With the amount of money that the Miami Heat will spend on LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, the team found the perfect player to fill the huge void in the middle.

    By paying Curry in Hamburgers, his salary will not count against the Luxury Tax.

South Beach

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    Eddy Curry had the option of playing for other teams, but he went to Miami so he could get on the South Beach diet.

    Leave a comment and let me know if you have any good jokes to add to this list.