College Football Holiday Gifts

The holidays are here, and with them come goodwill, gifts, and well wishes! With this in mind we here at the College Football Guys wish to give a load of gifts away this season.

We extend the following gifts and wishes to these college football programs.

Texas and freshman safety Blake Gideon—A second chance at an interception that would have ended the "Miracle in Lubbock" and given the 'Horns a January trip to Miami, Fla., over Glendale, Ariz.

Miami of Ohio—Mike Haywood without his great offensive play calling skills.

Arizona Wildcat Fans—The three year extension you just gave Mike Stoops. Trust us, you will want it back after next year. Seems Wildcat fans have forgotten this Stoops isn't Bob.

USC and Pete Carroll—Independence from the Pac-10. As an independent, the Trojans would enjoy a schedule without 0-12 Washington and 2-10 WAZZU.

The State of Washington—A victory against a FBS school located outside the borders of the Evergreen State.

Ohio State—A BCS game against a team outside of the SEC. Done! Maybe you won't have to change the locker room combination this year.

Auburn—Like the sibling that can't compete for his parent's affection, our gift to the Tigers is self confidence, not a new coach. Just because your brother isn't sickly anymore and is starting to beat you up again doesn't mean you suck! Just means you were never as good as him.

Michigan—A historic season. Wait, that was 2008! OK, how about a Sheraton Hawaii Bowl invitation for '09 and a QB that can run the spread option.

Baylor—A transfer from the Big 12 South to the Big 12 North. The Bears will shine with freshman QB Robert Griffin but not as brightly as they would playing the foes in the Big 12's northland.

Texas A&M—A formation that allows an eligible 12th man. Maybe they can sneak one in on the Piedmont A11 offense.

Arizona State—An offensive line that can protect a QB and the ability to win ANY big game. Littl' Elway better have his pop's legs.

Indiana—A 2009 schedule packed full of Northwestern and FCS programs.

UCLA and Rick Neuheisel—About 14, 15, maybe 16 fewer interceptions from a starting quarterback.

Vanderbilt—Knowledge that the season is 12 games long, not six. Season ending losses to Mississippi State, Tennessee, and Duke left a gash on a great start to the season.

Kansas State—A spring recruiting class full of freshmen. Ron Prince's experiment to sign 19 JC transfers this year reeked of desperation and didn't turn out so well.

West Virginia—Four more years of Pat White.

Notre Dame—A victory in a bowl for the first time since 1993.

Merry Christmas to all...


...and to the Irish a good night.