Mike McQueary's Interview: 7 Things That Were Longer Than CBS' Farce

Did you catch the “exclusive” CBS interview with Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary?

You aren’t alone if you didn’t considering it lasted a whopping 24 seconds.

After hyping it up for three hours leading up to the interview, CBS pulled a fast one on all of us.

McQueary said absolutely nothing of note to reporter Armen Keteyian, besides that he compares the Penn State scandal to a snow globe.

It was a huge mistake by CBS to hype up such a lame event and it got me thinking…what sort of tasks can you complete in the time it takes to watch the McQueary interview?

1. Chug a Monster Energy Drink

Wanna know the fastest way to get diabetes? Try chugging an entire 24 oz can of Monster energy drink.

This guy was able to do it in seven seconds…which means in theory he could chug three and still have three seconds to spare before the McQueary interview is over.

Now that would be an impressive feat.

2. Shave Your Head

Shaving can be one of the most time consuming parts of your day. Not when you have “The Shaving Helmet”.

This incredible invention shaves your entire head in 24 seconds—and nobody has had their heads chopped off yet!

Now if they can only invent one for your face...

3. Watch an NBA Possession

Way back when the NBA was a professional sports league they limited each team to 24 seconds per possession.

Remember the good ‘ole days of watching Carmelo Anthony hold the ball at the top of the key lulling his defenders (and fans) to sleep before driving to the hoop for a shot?

Seems like a loooong time ago.

4. Time it Takes to Finish Drake’s New Album

“Drizzy” just released his new CD Take Care and there isn’t much to it.

Aside from a few impressive cameo’s, you can consider this CD a bust in a hurry.

I’m sorry if you need to sample Lesley Gore​’s “It’s My Party” (“Take Care”), George Straight​’s “All My Exes Live In Texas” and Juvenile’s “Back That Thang Up” (“Practice”) for a few lyrical gimmicks…you aren’t the best rap in the game.

Anyway…

6. Juggle a Soccer Ball

Can you juggle a soccer ball on your own for 24 seconds? It requires strong balance, coordination and conditioning. You need to have quick feet and strong legs.

This guy doesn’t have any of that.

He gets about 12 seconds in before punting the ball out of the picture. He gets the ball back and once again drills it.

I take it back; this guy has a strong leg.

7. UFC Fights on FOX

Ok so maybe Saturday’s big fight on FOX lasted longer than 24 seconds, but it sure didn’t seem like it.

If you were getting a drink during the Junior dos Santos-Cain Velasquez fight…you missed it.

Just like the McQueary interview.