Due to Financial Pressure, NFC East to Consolidate and Form One Team

A group of investment banks has decided to stop sponsoring The NFL's NFC East Division and focus on 144A securities and instead share the single platform launched by the Nasdaq Stock Market with the disbanded WNBA. Yesterday the banks announced their intention to form The Dalnewdelphia Minotaurs, which is a consolidated version of the NFC East.

This new consolidated team is only open to qualified institutional buyers or QIBs such as mutual funds and hedge funds that manage at least $100 million in assets. The shareholders see total domination after the consolidation.

All of the investment banks joining the Minotaur organization, which will be headed by former Houston Oilers Head Coach, Bum Phillips. The investment group launched or are working on trading platforms for trading unregistered securities, a booming market where an estimated $1 trillion was raised in global fixed income and equity deals through the first half of 2009.

Why NFL football?

The founding members of Portal Alliance include Goldman Sachs, which launched its own brand of clothing line called Over Armour and a Greenland based WNBA team which eventually failed, and created the "Deck the ovens with smart technology" commercial for Dell. This announcement comes after the NFL reported the cut of support staff at the leagues central office.

The N.F.L., widely considered the most successful sports league in North America, will reduce its staff by about 150 employees after the Super Bowl in response to the slumping economy, Commissioner Roger Goodell told staff members in a memo Tuesday. The N.F.L. has a total of 1,100 employees at its New York headquarters, at NFL Films in New Jersey and at the Los Angeles offices of the NFL Network and NFL.com. NFL films guru Steve Sabol will make a bloopers video on the layoffs after the Superbowl.

Although voluntary buyouts are being offered now, the league will not determine the breakdown of cuts until after the championship game on Feb. 1. The Minotaurs will combine teams this spring and will host open tryouts.

In a statement from Team General Manager Bum Phillips, he stated:

"You know how Voltron featured a team of five young pilots commanding five robot lions, which could be combined to form Voltron? We are going to be a little like that, sans the machinery and Lion sponsor. In this undefined future era, the Voltron Force was in charge of protecting the planet Arus (ruled by Princess Allura) from the evil King Zarkon (from planet Doom), his son Lotor, and the witch Haggar, who would create huge Robeasts to terrorize the people of Arus. We wil terrorize the NFL with our dominance, like Voltron handled King Zarkon. "