NFL Predictions Week 8: Winless Teams Will Continue To Suck for Andrew Luck

Misery loves company, which might help to explain why there are still three teams in the NFL—the Indianapolis Colts, St. Louis Rams and Miami Dolphins—that have yet to record a victory in 2011.

Well, that and the fact that all three of them are just plain terrible...and maybe the chance to select Andrew Luck in the 2012 NFL Draft, too. It would be easy enough to simply say that each of them will suffer another loss in Week 8, but let's take a closer look at why.

Indianapolis Colts

The Colts had actually looked like a semi-respectable team, one that might pull out a few wins eventually, between Weeks 2 and 6. Indy followed up an embarrassing 34-7 loss to Houston in the season opener with five narrow defeats, each of which came by a margin of 10 points or fewer.

Perhaps Indy didn't need Peyton Manning to be Atlas after all.

Then, the sky fell, as did everything else, in a 62-7 shellacking at the hands of the New Orleans Saints—on national TV, no less. There's no glossing over just how bad Indy played. As good as the Saints are, and as horrible as the Colts evidently are, no NFL team should ever beat another NFL team by 55 points.

But s*** happens. And, somehow, someway, the Colts will have to move forward.

Unfortunately, that next step is into Nashville, where they'll find a Tennessee Titans team still smarting from a shameful performance of its own in Week 7. You can bet Matt Hasselbeck, Chris Johnson and the Titans' defense will be chomping at the bit to make minced meat of their downtrodden AFC South rivals to feed their own ever-growing appetite for on-field success.

St. Louis Rams

Back to the Saints for a second, they'll get to see for themselves which team is the NFL's worst when they travel to St. Louis to take on the hapless Rams in Week 8. Like the Colts, the Rams mustered only a single touchdown in their latest debacle, a 34-7 drubbing in Dallas.

As easy as it may be to blame St. Louis' offense for the shortfall, especially with AJ Feeley taking over for the injured Sam Bradford, the real goat here (once again) was the Rams' defense. DeMarco Murray may yet turn out t be a pretty good 'back for the Cowboys, but he can thank Steve Spagnuolo's nonexistent run prevention for his record-setting day.

And if the Rams were so helpless to even stay in front of the Cowboys, what hope can they possibly have of stopping the Saints, who sport arguably the most explosive offense in the NFL and will have no trouble playing their game on the turf at the Edward Jones Dome?

Do I really need to answer that one myself?

Miami Dolphins

It's tough to tell what's worse—getting demolished, like the Colts and the Rams did, or blowing a 15-point lead with less than three minutes to go.

The Dolphins would probably opt for the latter after watching Tim Tebow morph into a competent quarterback in the fourth quarter to lead the Broncos to an improbably 18-15 overtime win in Miami.

That may be the closest the Fins come to sniffing victory this season, as sad as that is to say for this once-proud franchise. The New York Giants, Miami's next opponent, has been as enigmatic as any team in the NFL this season, so there's some hope for a victory there.

Then again, Big Blue will be well rested after a Week 7 bye and will have the added benefit of playing at home.

So, unless Matt Moore can pull a miracle out of his rear end, or Daniel Thomas summons his inner Walter Payton (or DeMarco Murray), the G-Men should win this one handily, thereby helping the Fins to keep pace in the "Suck For Luck" sweepstakes.