Golf's 25 Most Quotable Players Ever

The game of golf is viewed as boring by many people. 

Fortunately, the 25 guys in this slideshow didn't get the memo. 

These guys love to laugh and love making everyone else laugh. Any time a microphone was put in front of them, these guys provided some gold for reporters. 

The following golfers are the 25 most quotable golfers in the history the game. Enjoy!

Lee Trevino

One of the best characters in the game's history, Lee Trevino is always making people laugh on and off the golf course.

Two of the Merry-Mex's best quotes are:

"If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron."

"You can talk to a fade, but a hook won't listen."

Paul Goydos

Paul Goydos entered the forefront of golf at the 2008 Players Championship. Entering the weekend, Goydos was fighting for the lead.

As a result, he was asked to do some media interviews for the network.

The interview went like this:

Bob Costas:  "Ever had a 54-hole lead before?" 

Goydos: "No, but I've only been on Tour for 16 years."

Costas: "How'd you sleep last night?"

Goydos: "On my back."

Fuzzy Zoeller

Fuzzy Zoeller has always been a very humorous guy. And although he did make an unfortunate statement about Tiger Woods at the Masters a few years ago, I believe he was not intending to offend anyone.

Instead, Fuzzy was just trying to being Fuzzy: funny.

Once when asked about draining a shot from the fairway, Fuzzy responded by saying, "It just happened that the hole got in the way. I was trying to make 4 and I made 3."

Peter Jacobsen

Not only a good golfer, but also one of the game's best philanthropists, Jacobsen truly cares about the game and its fans.

A couple of his better quotes include:

“You could bury three elephants in that bunker. I think Nicklaus designed that bunker at night.”

“I was on the 15th tee. I just eagled 13 and birdied 14. Nicklaus birdied 10. I thought 'This is cool, Jack and I are now tied.' As I hit the water on 15, I looked over at the scoreboard and just as one guy was finished putting up the 'S-E-N' (in Jacobsen), the other guy was taking down the 'J-A-C.'”

Steve Elkington

Steve Elkington is definitely one of the best quotes in all of golf. If you have time, watch his interview on The Jim Rome Show. It is laugh out loud funny.

During one tournament where many players complained about the heat, Elkington was not bothered. "Being Australian and living in Houston, ... I thought it was quite cool," he observed.

He also is not afraid to make fun of himself. “I never think about the ones that got away... I don't think I'm finished winning tournaments. I feel really young. I may not look it, but I feel it," Elk once said. 

Julius Boros

To play good golf, you need a good attitude. And Julius Boros had a good attitude.

After he was asked once what he was going to do when he quit playing golf, Boros responded with, "Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living."  

Apart from having a good head on his shoulders, Boros also gave his advice to beginning golfers by remarking, "By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport." 

Miguel Angel Jimenez

Miguel Angel Jimenez likes golf, wine and cigars. He is rarely seen on the course without a cigar dangling from his mouth.

On top of enjoying the finer things in life, Jimenez also provides some great quotes to the media.

Jimenez on a good season: “It's very difficult to imagine another season like that, but I'm like the good wines. Getting better with age.”

Bubba Watson

Bubba Watson clearly has a sense of humor. A member of Golf Boys, the boy band comprised of PGA Tour players, he enjoys making people laugh.

This is easily seen through his interaction with the press.

Two of Bubba's best quotes are “I know how to get out of the trees pretty good" and “That means you're hitting the ball really well. It gives you confidence when you go to the driver, your irons, just with everything. And now I've gone three rounds without a bogey. That helps too.”

Chi Chi Rodriguez

Chi Chi Rodriguez is perhaps most famous for the dance he often performed after sinking an important putt. But on top of having some fancy dance moves, Rodriguez also knew his way around press row.

Some of his best:

“The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.”

“The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil."

Angel Cabrera

A couple of years ago when Angel Cabrera was winning majors and smoking cigarettes like they were going out of style, he gave us one of the greatest quotes in the history of the game. 

Angel said, "Some players have psychologists, some have sportologists. I smoke."

Hey, whatever works!

Jimmy Demaret

One of the golfing greats, Jimmy Demaret also gave us a few great quotes during his time.

The three time Master winner once said, "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at."

No arguments there, Jimmy. 

Sam Snead

Like Demaret, Sam Snead is one of the greatest golfers ever. And lucky enough, Snead was kind enough to dispose of his wisdom while he still walked the fairways.

"These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow," Snead once remarked after playing a tournament round.

He also once said, "If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they’d starve to death." 

Tiger Woods

Back before Tiger was a robot in press conferences, he was actually very enjoyable in press conferences. Time changes all things, and I am afraid that the happy, joking Tiger may be gone forever.

Before that Tiger left, however, he famously said, "Hockey is a sport for white men.  Basketball is a sport for black men.  Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

Ben Hogan

Ben Hogan is not only one of the greatest golfers ever, he also knows more about the golf swing than any other golfer in history. And while he was a very shy man, he did share some of his knowledge occasionally.

Such times include him saying:

"There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground."

“Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club, don't you?”

“Golf is not a game of good shots. It's a game of bad shots.”

Jack Nicklaus

Arguably the greatest golfer in the history of the game, Jack Nicklaus is willing to give his two cents on all things golf. Sometimes I agree, and sometimes I think he is way off base, but the one thing is, he is always Jack.

His best two quotes:

“Through the years of experience, I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt

“Golf is a better game played downhill.”

Seve Ballesteros

Seve Ballesteros is one golfer who we can all agree left us too soon. Not only was he great on the golf course, but he was hilarious in interviews.

One time when explaining a four-putt, Seve said, “I miss the hole, I miss the hole, I miss the hole, I hole it.” The best explanation I have ever heard regarding golf. 

And on his wild drives, Seve remarked, “I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everyone would have to play from the rough, not just me.”

Boo Weekley

Coming from the south, Boo Weekley is a different person than many who find themselves on the PGA Tour. He wears camouflage and isn't afraid to speak his mind.

While in Scotland for the Open Championship, Weekley remarked, "It's different eating here than it is at the house. Ain't got no sweet tea, and ain't got no fried chicken."

Greg Norman

Greg Norman is one golfer who should have many more major titles than he does. Unfortunately, he often struggled under the bright lights of the big tournaments.

After blowing the Masters in 1996, Norman complained, "I'm disappointed, but I'm not going to run around like Dennis Rodman and head-butt somebody."

And when he wasn't blowing majors, Norman also made one of the most unintentionally hilarious statements by saying, “I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and my father.”

Tommy Bolt

When I was younger, I used to model my temperament after Tommy Bolt. I quickly realized he probably was not the best role model and learned to change my ways. After all, Tommy was known for his fiery temper.

Two of his best pieces advice:

"You should always throw a club ahead of you so that you don't have to walk any extra distance to get it."

I speak from experience when I say he is spot on with this observation.

“Never break your putter and your driver in the same round, or you're dead.”

Mark Calcavecchia

Mark Calcavecchia is one of the most down-to-earth golfers on tour. He seems like your next door neighbor, and that is why people love him.

Aside from being very lovable, he also can be very funny in interviews.

“How's my name going to fit on that thing?” Calc once asked about a trophy engraved with the winners names. 

Another time after a poor round, Calc said disgusted, “I've got to get as far away from this course as I can.”

Arnold Palmer

Arnold Palmer is one of the greatest, most likable golfers of all time. He gives a minute and a wave to every fan and simply loves the game.

As a result, he loves talking about the game. A couple of his best golf quotes include:

"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser."

“It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get”

Bobby Jones

Bobby Jones, one of the game's most celebrated amateur golfers, gave us one of the greatest quotes of all time when he said golf is, "played on a five-inch course...the distance between your ears."

That short line sums this game up perfectly. 

Mac O'Grady

Before doing research for this slideshow, I had never heard of Mac O'Grady. Upon reading one of his quotes, I googled him and learned he is one of the most eccentric golfers ever to play the game.

As such, he also gave us some of the most bizarre quotes in history:

"One minute you're bleeding. The next minute you're hemorrhaging. The next minute you're painting the Mona Lisa."  

"I've played so many places around the world during the last 10 years or so, being on the tour is like celebrating Christmas every day."

Harry Vardon

Harry Vardon was a professional golfer who won the Open Championship a record six times. This is a record that I do not think will ever fall. It is impressive and speaks to the skill of Vardon.

To reach such a high level, Vardon obviously played a lot of golf. Not too much, however, as he once said, "Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty."

He also was not shy about his skill, remarking "I'm the best and I'll thank you to remember that."

Ray Floyd

Ray Floyd was a very good golfer and often gave some good quotes. Unfortunately, he could also be uncooperative and surly. 

Regardless, he could not have described golf better than when he said, "They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken."