But I nearly walked to my front door, opened it, placed my head between the frame and the door and began smashing my skull, Vinnie Jones style, a la Snatch.
Why? Because: Nissan, Delivers.
That was the single most overplayed commercial in history right there. I counted, and this is after about three hours of it already being on enough for me to even think about counting and in a four-hour span, NISSAN, DELIVERS ran 22 times. We've all been there.
Frank TV nearly sent us all to Bellevue during the MLB playoffs. But those we at least entertaining, somewhat. NISSAN, DELIVERS repeats the same line four times. So on top of it being maybe the most replayed commercial in history, it's maybe the most repetitive in history.
But as I watched Oklahoma win another game on the big stage Saturday night, all I could think was, SAM BRADFORD, DELIVERS. And Slinging Sammy's performances are starting to get about as repetitive as that commercial. The dude is absolutely out of this galaxy.
He is so freaking impressive, that he makes a 4,000 yard, 51 touchdown season seem kind of not impressive. Somehow it took two very Sam-like performances on national television to wake the country up to his unreal awesomeness.
Any time Oklahoma State scored, SAM BRADFORD, DELIVERED. Whether it be on a Sooner Magic tip to Jermaine Gresham (speaking of, hey Herbstreit, it's pronounced Gre-shum. Not Gri-shem. He's not the author of The Client. Say it with me, Gre-shum) or flying and spinning through the air like a stiff board, Sammy was incredible.
Tim Tebow became the first sophomore Heisman winner because people flipped their collective crap over his 50-plus touchdowns and Sammy has done the same, but with more yardage.
And he's also led his team into this three-way spiral that ended up sending the Schooner to Kansas City and on track for a shot at No. 8.
But regardless of what you think about who got screwed, there's no denying that Sam Bradford is the most outstanding player in the country. Even in OU's one loss, Bradford played lights out. He tossed five touches against Texas and was overall fantastic. Nothing phases the guy. He's been dubbed "The Big Easy" by Big Bob and he plays like it.
He doesn't get rattled, he doesn't lose his composure.
Just like Beyonce's DIRECTV "Upgrade" commercial nearly made me insert hot coals under my eyelids and gave NISSAN, DELIVERS a run, Colt McCoy has a good case. Like Beyonce, he's the sexy pick. He has nice numbers, plays for Texas, is a junior and has a little more name recognition than Sammy.
But in the end, when you line both of them up, SAM BRADFORD, DELIVERS.