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College Football Regular Season Awards: The Melungeons !

BabyTateNov 30, 2008

At the end of the regular season in college football it is customary to award those who have stood out among their peers.

Since this fall has seen such diversity in the teams ranked at or nearย the the mountain top, it appears absolutely appropriate to deem the awards for such a season as "The Melungeons."

For those not well versed in southern lore, a quote fromย a 1923 issue of the Kingsport (Tenn.) Times: "Melungeons are a mysterious and sinisterย people whose originย has never been determined but, have dwelt in the mountains of Tennessee, Kentucky, and Virginia for hundreds of years".ย 

In case you are wondering, it has been said the only way a fair maiden or gentleman could determine if their beloved was Melungeonย was by feeling the back of his or her head. Ifย thereย was a raised knot in the middle,ย you were in love with a Melungeon.

I) SHOCK THEATRE: THE MOST UNDER-PERFORMING TEAMS

A) Michiganโ€“ Good Grief, what can you do for an encore?

B) Arizona Stateโ€“ From trendy pick for the Fiesta Bowl to a losing season.

C) Tennesseeโ€“ So bad they have hired a child to replace theย championship coach.

D) Clemsonโ€“ More of a vote for Tommy "The Big Loss" Bowden. Dabo is a cool cat.

II) NASTY BOYS: THE BAD DUDES OF DEFENSE

A) Michael Johnson, DE, 6'7" 260,ย Ga Techโ€“ Deacon Jones and Lawrence Taylor Combo.ย 

B) Mt. Cody, DL, 6'5" 383,ย Alabamaโ€“ย 21st Century Refrigerator Perry.

C) James Laurinatis, LB, 6'3" 240,ย Ohio Stateโ€“ Colt McCoy's worst nightmare?

D) Rey Maualuga, LB, 6'2" 260, Southern Californiaโ€“ The return of Mike Singletary.

III) HAVE TEAM, WILL TRAVEL: THE GREAT ROAD VICTORIES

A) Penn State 13 Ohio State 6โ€“ Battle between twoย BCS Bowl-caliber teams was a classic.

B) Ole Miss 31 Florida 30โ€“ Rebels proved Gatorsย could be beaten by outโ€“toughing them.

C)ย Alabama 41 Georgia 30โ€“ The most stunning victory of the season when it happened.

D)ย Oregon 65 Oregon State 38โ€“ Ducks took care of business in Civil War Showdown.

IV) AREA 51 CLUB: THE BEST UNKNOWN PERFORMERS

A) Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgersโ€“ 67 receptions while missing one game. Herman Mooreโ€“like.

B) Nate Davis, QB, Ball Stateโ€“ 25 TD passes and 67% completion rate on an unbeaten team.

C) Shonn Greene, RB, Iowaโ€“ 1729 yards rushing with 17 TDs in Big 10 are worthy of Heisman talk.

D) Brian Johnson, QB, Utahโ€“ 24 TD passes, 68% completion rate, unbeaten team.

V) BAD COMPANY: THE TEAMS THAT "PUT A LICKIN' ON SOME PEOPLE"

A) Southern California 35 Ohio State 3โ€“ SEC and Big 12 teams took notice.

B) Mississippiโ€“ Beat Florida and LSU, the past two national champions,ย on the road.

C) Iowa 55 Minnesota 0โ€“ Resurgent Golden Gophers were absolutely annihilated.

D) Ga Techโ€“ย Beat Fla St., Miami at home, thenย Clemson, Boston College, and Georgia on the road.

VI) FIRST AMONG EQUALS: THE CHOICE FOR THE BEST PLAYER IN AMERICA

A) Sam Bradford, QB, Oklahomaโ€“ 46 TDs passing, 5 rushing TDs, 68% completion rate, 6 Int

B) Tim Tebow, QB, Floridaโ€“ 25 TDs passing, 12 rushing TDs, 65% completion rate, 2 Int

C)ย Graham Harrell, QB, Texas Techโ€“ 41 TDs passing, 6 rushing TDs, 72% completion rate, 7 Int

D) Colt McCoy, QB, Texasโ€“ 32 TDs passing, 10 rushing, 78% completion rate, 7 Int

VII) FANTASY WORLD: THEย GAMES WE WISH HAD BEEN PLAYED

A)ย Alabama vs. Penn Stateโ€“ Rock 'em, sock 'em action, start to finish.

B) Tennessee vs. Michiganโ€“ Who would survive the Depression Bowl?

C) Southern California vs. Floridaโ€“ NFL Agents make up 50% of the crowd.

D) Boise State vs. Utahโ€“ Who deserves the BCS Bowl appearance?ย  Settle it on the field.

And why not give a "Special Melungeon" for coaching performance of the year? For the regular season, it is hard to overlook the job done by Nick Saban, Mike Leach,ย Urban Meyer, and Bob Stoops.

But the award should be given to Brian Kelly of Cincinnati for winning the Big East and earning a berth in the Orange Bowl. First runnerโ€“up is Houston Nutt of Ole Miss, followed by Mike Riley of Oregon State. And Dabo Swinney is smiling all the way to the bank.