Plaxico Burress: Packing Heat, Playing with Fire

Some songs for Plaxico....

A young Giant named Plaxico grew restless at his mansion
A boy filled with wonderlust who really meant no harm
He changed his clothes and shined his boots
And combed his dark hair down
And his coach cried as he walked out

Don't take your guns to town son
Leave your guns at home Plaxico

Don't take your guns to town

He laughed and kissed his coach
And said your Plaxico's a man
I can shoot as quick and straight as anybody can
But I wouldn't shoot without a cause
I'd gun nobody down
But Coughlin cried again as he rode away

Don't take your guns to town son
Leave your guns at home Plaxico
Don't take your guns to town

No? How about...some Lorne Greene Rap.

He lay face down in the Latin Club
Clutching his six-gun in his hand
Shot in the leg, I thought he was dead
But under his leg was an ounce of lead
But a spark still burned so I used my knife
And late that night I saved the life of Plaxico

(Plaxico... Plaxico. . .)

No Lorne Green remix?...How about some gun happiness?

I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
Down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a fix cause I'm going down
Plaxico jump the gun
Plaxico jump the gun
Plaxico jump the gun
Plaxico jump the gun
Plaxico jump the gun


Happiness is a warm gun
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun, momma
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
When I hold you in my arms
(Ooooooooohhh, oh yeah!)
And when I feel my finger on your trigger
I know nobody can do me no harm
Because happiness is a warm gun, momma
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
-Yes it is, it's a warm gun!
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Happiness is a warm, yes it is...
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Well don't ya know that happiness is a warm gun, momma?
(Bang Bang Shoot Shoot)
Yeeeaahhh!

Anyway if you make millions and you insist on treading in fearful places where you might have to slap leather, why not hire a bodyguard? Someone capable and competent enough not to shoot themselves, or you, in the leg?

Why were you playing with the gun anyway? If you think you need to go heavy, why go there at all? You can dance with a bad leg, but not play?

I was drinking in the Latin Club
I took a little risk
Send lawyers, guns and money
Coach Coughlin get me out of this, hyeah

Well at least when you square off with the Pacman it should be a real gunfight down in Dallas.

Go Josey Wales on him early Plaxico...

Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

Hand guns are made for killin
Aint no good for nothin else
And if you like your whiskey
You might even shoot yourself

Many thanks to Johnny Cash, Lorne Greene, Warren Zevon, the Beatles, Lynard Skynard, and Joesy Wales, what a potential supergroup, for allowing me to mangle their lyrics.

And finally a word from Shane...

A gun is a tool, Marian; no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that. And Marian don't shoot yourself in the damn leg.