Alabama-Auburn: Gee! Thanks, Tigers!

Auburn, it's not like Alabama wasn't going to beat you anyway.  It's not like they weren't going to embarrass you.  But it wouldn't be gentlemanly not to thank you for all you did today to actually help us.  So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let us thank you.

Thanks for getting off the bus today and being stupid enough to raise 7 fingers.  It reminded the players, coaches and fans just why they needed to rub your faces in the mud today.

Thanks for giving Brad Lester a microphone and the opportunity to publicly say that that Auburn would beat both Georgia and Alabama, and by a good number of points. His prediction abilities matched his ability to contribute to Auburn today. He played and talked like a true loser.

Thanks for recruiting such lightweights up front. It made it so easy for our first-, second-, and third-string teams to run it down your throat.

Thanks for committing all those stupid penalties.  They came in handy.  And while we're thanking you for stupid things, thanks for all the dropped passes and for that matter, for letting Kodi Burns throw at all.  He only hurt us when he ran.

Thanks for those two third-quarter fumbles.  It helped us start the avalanche.  The one in the fourth quarter was just an added bonus, and we felt you were being much too kind.

Thanks for making all the second- and third-string players on defense look so good.  I guess that showed everyone that Alabama really could have beaten you with our Scout Team.  The confidence they gained will help them next year.

And finally, thanks for letting us beat you by more points in this game than you have beaten us by in the last three years combined.

It really helped get that bad feeling even further away from our thoughts.  In all six wins in the streak, you NEVER beat us by more than nine points.

So Tommy and Co., be sure and let us shake your hand before you leave Tuscaloosa.  We really want to thank you properly...