Top 5 Clever Topics for so Very Clever Guy's Girls Heading into Week 5

OK, So Very Clever Guy's Girls—things are heating up.  The Big Ten and the Big 12 begin conference play this week and there are some exciting games ahead.  If you have no intention of watching any football with the men (or women) in your life, and if you are pretty certain you will not run into a single dude between now and midnight Saturday, you don't need to read this.  

However, if there is any chance either of the above might occur, I would give this a read through so you have some pretty cool topics to talk about and facts to drop into conversation.  Isn't it high time the spotlight be squarely on you for a change?

Let's talk about appropriate gameday apparel for a moment.  Ladies—it's tempting to hide those rough spots with an oversize shirt or jersey or by wearing sweats or unshapely jeans.  However, let's take a different tack and highlight our best features and downplay the areas to which we'd rather not draw attention.

So, if your, uh, rack gets a lot of attention—wear numbers and keep the eyes there.  Maybe your hind end is the selling point but you're a little thick through the waist.  Wear fantastic jeans and a top that masks what you plan to work on next week.  Remember, just because it's in style doesn't mean it's the right style.  

Who Will Stay in ESPN's Heisman Top 10 This Week?

So, Very Clever Girls—while the Heisman watch doesn't officially heat up until late October, it's still pretty hot, and we are likely going to lose one of our contenders this week.

In this order, they rank:

Andrew Luck, Stanford QB - staying

Kellen Moore, Boise State QB - staying

Marcus Lattimore, South Carolina RB - facing a tough game this weekend against Auburn

Robert Griffin III, Baylor QB - staying

Russell Wilson, Wisconsin QB - facing off against Taylor Martinez of Nebraska and might fall

Trent Richardson, Alabama RB - coming up against Florida this weekend. Hmmm.

Landry Jones, Oklahoma QB - staying

Denard Robinson, University of Michigan QB - staying

Tyrann Mathieu, LSU CB - one more week

More Heisman Stats to Give You Some Street Cred

The Heisman Trophy is awarded yearly to the best college football player that year.  Traditionally, the trophy is handed to a quarterback or a running back; however, we do have a cornerback on our hot list—Tyrann Mathieu from LSU.

The last time a cornerback won the Heisman was in 1997 when Charles Woodson of University of Michigan received the honor.  Not only was it the LAST time, it was the only time.  It would be a miracle if Tyrann walked across the stage to receive this award, but miracles have been known to happen.  

Side note: Charles Woodson currently plays for the Green Bay Packers as cornerback.  If I were you, I'd open a conversation with "When was the last time a cornerback won the Heisman?"  Give the dudes a chance to jump on that. 

Nearly everyone in the room should weigh in, but if not, you get to grab the mike and announce in Michael Buffer style, "Charles Woodson, wasn't it?  From the University of Michigan?"  

Never assert - it sounds like you are showing off.  Dudes hate when women show them up about sports, and for the love of all things sacred, don't argue.  A spirited debate on gameday is fine—anything more causes bitterness and you might not be invited to play again.  

BTW—Michael Buffer is the ringmaster who trademarked the term, "Let's Get Ready to Rumble!"

Clemson's Secret Weapon

Clemson is on fire and a lot of that has to do with a poised freshman named Sammy Watkins.  He's dazzling fans, coaches and the college football community at large, not only with his tremendous scoring skills but his character.  

He plays with an acumen and maturity traditionally not seen in freshmen, but let me tell you: Denard Robinson played with the same confidence and grace as I'm already seeing in Case McCoy and Jaxon Shipley, both of the University of Texas.

Freshmen aren't expected to play, so when given the opportunity, it often goes straight to their heads.  The aforementioned guys, however, are putting ego aside for the sake of the betterment of the team and winning games.

I.  LOVE.  IT.

First Conference Game for Nebraska Won't Be a Gimme

Nebraska plays its first Big Ten Conference game Saturday against Wisconsin.  Gunslingers Taylor Martinez and Russell Wilson will go head-to-head and it's anyone's game.  Likely one of these quarterbacks will lose some steam in the top 10 Heisman candidate list unless the defense completely fails for both teams and it's a shootout.  Not.  Likely.  

Go Spartans!

The buck stops here for the Buckeyes.  This weekend, the Michigan State Spartans are going to end a seven-year losing streak.  It is going to happen.  I will be watching enthusiastically as my alma mater hands my least favorite team in college football their ass.

Coach Dantonio is not the only native Ohioan looking to rub the Buckeyes' noses in it.  Twenty-three members of the state roster are from Ohio and anxious to let Ohio State see what they could have recruited.  

This will be a great game.  I might even wear green and white.  Or not.  Not.